Selfishness...goes farther than family!

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It is mindboggling to me the selfishness I have learned in not only family but "so called" friends as well... as family is no more in our life, in my case, all I have are friends and I have to adjust and accept or I will have no friends.
It is not their burden, but I just hate the false "lemme know if there is anything I can do" and then when you finally break down and ask, they are too busy getting their nails done or ????. You get to see and hear all the fun they are having...thru this lovely internet n Facebook. I'm like, "looks like a blast, maybe next time lets throw the BBQ over here. sure be nice to see you all" and crickets... anyway one of my last touchy subjects trying to work thru so I don't hurl myself off a cliff..hahahha
Family is another story tho...they are the ones who are "supposed to" be there! and that's why we feel so disappointed!!

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Well catching up here, mom's health became an issue for a while there so was real busy
Thanks for the support mamaduke!

I had spent couple days time down in the area where I want to go move, with my friends, while mom was in hospital! I had a real neat experience! I was stressed out, neck arm in pain from it, sweaty no makeup in borrowed unmatching clothes...basically disheveled. One of the artist I follow and like very much passed me in the grocery store, we are facebook friends but have never spoke, etc... anyway he looked up at me in my horrid state and had a warm smile and a nod hello for me. Just made me feel or confirmation, that is where we belong, in a warm loving community!!! Alcyon Massive, he gets radio play here and his stuff is good if you like reggae/dub/dance style...can Youtube him..Aint it fresh and Oregon sunset some of my fav's! Good to be home tho and routine started.
Terrible news yesterday tho, a dear sweet woman and friend had an accident and passed away. I met her thru Sr Companion program...she came 3hrs a week to sit with ma so I could get out and shop. well I waited for her all morning yesterday all ready to go and she never showed...concerned and called around finally her daughter showed up telling me she was gone, had fallen and hit her head at home nite before and was gone! just like that... so sad! we had become close as good eggs are hard to find out here! I will miss her. Our community will miss her! she was a great lady, very loved and active to the end! her daughter is beside herself, they were very close!!!! lived next door...she went to check on her when she did not answer phone. I just realized too just now, she was gonna start sitting with ma for me in the eve's for extra fun money so I could maybe have an evening out with friends, go see a show, etc...well I am more concerned with her family and loss of a wonderful person than that.

I did clean out my facebook account to rid of those I do not interact with! no need!
Its hot today so I am taking a lil nap next to recharge, it is busy days, till I get ma's health sorted out!
Hope you all are having a good weekend!
Juju
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Speak to an elderly family member at his level and explain just what selfishness means to those who may get hurt in the process! Maybe that discussion wlll make a point of understanding, even in abusive situations that some of us may experience.
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Sorry, I didn't read all the posts. Sounds like you found your faith and some friends!
God is good when we open up to it. Glad you have a chance to find someone new for your mom.
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I know how you feel. I don't even have people who offer. My mom has always had health issues so I guess they got use to sidestepping that offer. My brother...well that's of no help and I'm sure when he gets back in town will only freak out because she is such a different person then he remembers....then he should have stayed around is my feeling! I do have my dad, her husband but He just makes bad choices sometimes. I feel like we battle over stuff that shouldn't even be.
Hold tight to your faith! God has a plan and you are in it. Maybe he is saving up all the good stuff just for you...for when your done serving mom for him. :) I find Movies and T.V. shows I can get lost in for distraction. Books too but it's harder to read. When we get cabin fever I just put mom in the wheelchair and we go for a walk or maybe put her in the car and go to a park or some place that it doesn't matter what we look like! Hang in there jujubean! God got you!
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Man I am exhausted from the DR visit today good but emotional draining
I was trying to get out is ....I am glad someone with such character is not around my mother anymore. it worked out perfect! and I didn't have to lift a finger...except to find new!
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I know it was that she cudnt deal with her own guilt I know but chickens***!
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hurt n disappointed cuz we did get close her being here every week and we used to go outings all together etc...
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or I should say she was a friend, in the "friend???" category She spent 15 min with ma in hospital over the 3 wks.
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Don't even worry...I have wanted to fire her so many times for god sake she dropped my ma...but if she had not dropped my ma, I would have never snapped outta that h***..it is purely my disappointment in her character in doing it which shows you how much she respected her job. I had too much on my plate and needed her but I was getting ready to do it...that why I jumped in here needed to get things under control clear tooxins from out life, it is the absolute only choice.....I have no kids sibs, cuz aunt etc no one, in our life. to lean on! so I need all my faculties! be in control of the situation or I will not make it! I had to hit rock bottom I guess but now I got the the sked I want with some one I already have more confidence with and haven't worked together yet...and I didn't have to go thru the painful task of firing her...she has also become a friend.
And no she was thru SR services...that is another thing that just blows me away...after mom fell I called my worker, she is a piece of work there but another day. anyway I wanted to know what kind of training these providers are put thru...heres the story there "anyone can apply to be a CG, take a 4hr training course and then unleash them on the frail sick elderly....it appalls me this entire system. anyway....that's the kinda help we get, no thank you but I have to ...least new gal seems sharp. we will see!
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5 year.... So sorry jujubean. Was she a member of a church? I would call your state or local center on aging, see what kind of help, references they can offer! I called them when I was taking care of dad, they are a great resource!
You can rant all you want or need, I will listen. It is so damn tough and you need an outlet too. Your not alone. =}
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