Selfishness...goes farther than family!

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It is mindboggling to me the selfishness I have learned in not only family but "so called" friends as well... as family is no more in our life, in my case, all I have are friends and I have to adjust and accept or I will have no friends.
It is not their burden, but I just hate the false "lemme know if there is anything I can do" and then when you finally break down and ask, they are too busy getting their nails done or ????. You get to see and hear all the fun they are having...thru this lovely internet n Facebook. I'm like, "looks like a blast, maybe next time lets throw the BBQ over here. sure be nice to see you all" and crickets... anyway one of my last touchy subjects trying to work thru so I don't hurl myself off a cliff..hahahha
Family is another story tho...they are the ones who are "supposed to" be there! and that's why we feel so disappointed!!


I hear ya JuJu...loud and clear! My recent conclusion to this, especially after the long discussion about "over sensitive" personality is 85% of the population are selfish and narcissistic and the other 15% are CAREGIVERS!
Yes I have learned that painful lesson thru this problem was I always thought since I feel this way, that is how everyone feels, I thought compassion lay in the heart, not the personality, as I do recognize we are not all alike! and with my family, they don't help because they can't, so I never realized. and I had never been in this spot where true colors are shown! yada yada yada!
Hah I completely understand the feeling, only it's my family doing it, since my parents ran off most of their friends years ago. Ask for help or set it up specifically, only to have people back out or refuse because they "don't feel well", then go see on facebook they don't feel too bad, they were out at a concert or off camping instead!
To hell with the lot of them imo. I stopped asking for assistance from them, just use paid caregivers when I must.
Worst is when mom sees it herself in her more lucid moments. How to explain to her that her son is a completely selfish idiot in a way that doesn't make me sound like the looney one! xD
Let's face it - people generally don't like to be burdened by word or deed. Lip service is far more common than the actual getting the hands dirty so to speak.

I lean upon God for comfort and strength, for I'm learning that He alone can be my help - choosing to give support as He pleases, not in the way I demand it.

And, I have to forgive those who turn a blind and willing eye towards my Mom and my needs.
I have two sayings that are helping me deal with this..
I used to walk into a room and wonder do they like me, now I wonder do I like them!
I used to be attracted to clever people now I am attracted to kind!

To realize that I have made a choice not to be around them is empowering, rather than feeling abandoned, hurt and alone!!

still sucks to be so lonely but what ya gonna do....
Yes losing the last of my friends in this manner happened for a reason to force me into faith...which I had no concept of is powerful too.

I have to add too....with the facebook thing, I usually keep up with what everyone doing there cuz I cant get out. So when I post something bout our troubles like when she broke her hip n shouldr . I was flooded with the whatever you need we are their for you posts by these "friends". It really makes em feel good to publicly support me im sure! oh oh im such a good friend cuz I can type I love you! but not one person offered any kind of support in person. never a phone call visit or anything... I even knew it was gonna be that way so all I asked is anyone going to town please let me know as I may hitch a ride to rehab as gas back n forth is going to kill me...crickets
And I am supposed bust my butt and get us all ready go shop buy a present and come to your bday party...I think I would rather scrub the toilet, thank you tho for the invite!!!
and they have no concept of the take care of you first issues I have to deal with, when I finally arrive to the event, with my well fed and dressed mother, in a dishelved in starving sweat, and go for a plate of food before I get her one,cuz she ate her meals already...I get snears n comments and people jumpin to take care of her! when I have all ready done it...cuz she cant eat that crap anyway and she makes a mess I have to clean up!! thank you lord for this place to dump my anger!!! I have no room in my life for it anymore!!!
I hear ya!!!

And even those that are willing to help out in many ways most always stop short on the 'ANYTHING you need...anything at all' deal when it comes to changing adult diapers.
I can't say I blame anyone on that count, but I do know a lot of my friends have probably learned a lesson from the experience...don't say 'anything' unless you truly mean 'anything.' Especially with me, because I will take you up on it.


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