What did the seasoned cargeiver say to newly inducted caregiver?

I wish there was a thumbs up button- yaya would get my vote! She captured the essence of how we all feel!

Extra TP, a back-up/emergency supply of chux, flushable wipes, Lysol spray, LOTS of disposable vinyl gloves, room deoderizor, extra strength Tylenol (for you)...all important to keep on hand.
You're also going to need alcohol (NOT the rubbing kind).....and chocolate. Or ice cream. Both chocolate AND ice cream would be best. Did I say alcohol? Beer...wine...vodka...tequila...whatever floats your boat. If money gets a little short and you have to choose between Depends and a 12 pack of Corona, go with the Corona. The Depends can wait. That's why you keep the extra supply of chux on hand.

A bottle of valium- for YOU!

Hmm advice from the seasoned caregiver
1.Never eat anything the patients give you, you don't know where it has been.
2 Watch the old men. they pretend to be asleep so they can pinch your butt as you walk by
3. The brown marks on the sheets are not chocolate.

No new advice but I wanted to bring this thread up to the forefront. I notice a LOT of new caregivers here and wanted them to get a needed giggle as well as the great advice posted here. I'll be watching for new ones. I could use a giggle myself!

Learn to not mentally process what you see I e bathing and cleaning. Don't be afraid to take a break

Very funny. I hope I can keep my sense of humor! I'm going to be 24/7 caregiver you're all managing to do it I'll be able to do it too. Actually I'm scared to death!

What did grandma say to the new caregiver? "I see you are new here i hope you like it" Whatever made you think that" the caregiver asked. "Your shoes are clean'!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is a joke… somedays not a very funny one… my humor is waxing darker these days, I'm sure most of you understand. : )

Um…. RUN!!! Like, duh, obviously. ;D

Bring your own Toilet paper!!! LOL! I hide a roll. I like it white not brown!

If grandma is asleep for your whole shift remember to check her pulse.

DNR does not mean "does not remember"

B.Y.O.T.P.
Work this one out for your self!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Never admit you have never done it before. Just take the suppository out and remove the foil.

Never let your guard or anything else down "they know you are new"

Appreciate the little Joys on this Journey. They are few and far between. Ask questions about the "old" days. I've heard some REALLY juicy family gossip, since Mom's filter is gone.

You have to pick your battles.. So.. Avoid all arguments.. Bite your tongue..

What? My mother is fine. It's me that has problems!

Haha Horsepilot....Dinner and a dump...meaning dumping guilt, a diaper load, dumping the food on the floor, dumping paranoia, delusions,...and the latest on the neighbors.

Remember when it was dinner and a movie? Welcome to now its dinner and a diaper.

Welcome to hell.

Get to a Elder Law Attorney yesterday!!! Make sure you have POA's and have Attorney write up a caregiver payment agreement!!!!!

Don't put off cleaning the poopy mess on the beddings. Best to clean it when it's still "freshly" made and easy to come off from the garden hose. Wait for it to dry, and you have some scrubbing to do before putting it in the washer.

When it's meal time and you're dispensing his herbal supplements.... if he tells you that morning shift (me) did not give him this, and this and that... Don't automatically believe him. Verify first before dispensing. That's why he's breaking out from hives - he's getting more dosage than is recommended.

When you ask him if he poop, and he says, "No", don't believe him. Just change his Depends, anyway.

How about a version of "He Ain't heavy, he's my brother"

♪♪♪ "She's too heavy, she's my mother" ♪♪♪

boni - shouldn't you have an "h" between the "s" and the "i"?

Convince Grandpa that the Wellbutrin is actually generic Viagra.

If your patient develops a bad cold or flu, give them Prozac. It won't cure the flu but it helps stop the complaining.