Scary thoughts, we all have them... What if the one we take care of falls down the stairs? What if thy forget they left the burner on? What if they forget to eat or take their pills? Or forget they took their pills and take them again??
My doctor says I stress too much and if I joined a community online, and voice my scary thoughts, and heard others scary thoughts, I might not stress out so much. So here is a little back ground, then, my thought that I am most afraid of. Please share yours.
I love my parents, and I take care of them well I think. They don't live with me, but three blocks away.
I take them to all of their appointments, even the ones out of town, I cook, buy their groceries, and make sure their bills are paid, keep their checkbook, clean their house, pick up prescriptions, keep their yard looking nice, the list goes on. I also have 4 children, have been married for 16 years to a very loving, understanding guy, and work 2 jobs. My parents realize everything I do for them, and how busy my life is most of the time. Sometimes they don't think I spend enough time with them. They are both victims of early dementia, since they are only in their 60's. As well, my Dad has had cancer, and he has macular degeneration, and hearing problems. Besides the dementia my Mom had a H. Pylori stricture and lost a tons of weight, had a stent and feeding tube.
My fear is this. Is this going to happen to me? I know it sounds selfish, and I do worry about all the things mentioned before, but I often think "Is this going to be me in 30 years?" I am only 35 and doing all this for my parents that are in their 60's. 20-30 years ago, I saw them do the same thing for my Dad's parents.
My scary thought is: Will my children have to go through this for me?? I don't want them to have to do this for me. Is it just the cycle? We take care of our children when they are young, nurture them and help them grow, then when we get older they do the same for us?
My doctor says it is normal to think this, but I feel so selfish. I take of them yes, and I love them yes, but I think of myself often. Am I too selfish?