I am a scapegoat child living with and caring for my parents while being emotionally abused by them and siblings who refuse to help.
OK need support. I have a npd father & dry drunk alcoholic mother. Dad is enabler. So my sistter and father hired home health sitter for my mother who has dementia - recent MI & stroke & not supposed to be left alone. Sitter comes in 3 days a wk so my father can run out in the car and go to meetings and all the things he wants to. Well - he has been cancelling the sitter claiming he wants to use her judiciously and he pays for her but - going into a home is more $$$$$. Despite the constant dialogue that I am telling him I cannot do it all he insists he will take my mom when he goes out (BAD IDEA!!!!!!!! HE Can barely walk much less can she!) yet leaves here here alone. He will ask me last minute to stay with her while he goes off to a full day meeting for whatever activity and never comes back on time. If I explain it is interfering with my job or own life he gets pissed off. He has the money to pay for the sitter. He has also cut down the house cleaner from once a wk to every other wk and let me tell you the man craps in the bed and pisses on the floor and refuses to wear accident underwear or sit on the loo. He has always peed on the floor even when not elderly. He is an extreme unfeeling narcissist and he and my one mentally ill sister have upped the smear campaign against me. My mom wants me to stay but I am done. I have to get a FT job far away and never look back. My father is a FOOL. He says he does not want to go into AL and I have said whatever they want to do is fine by me. But then he has extreme mood swings (always has) and he will tell me all about my failings and how I should feel. I have HAD ENOUGH. My question is - as I get my life ready to get out - my dad is claiming to have care for my mom and will take her if he goes out but DOES NOT. He still asks me last minute to care for her and its not fair to her if I say NO. She had an MI the last time her did this and I was at work. He tried to take her to the EYE doctor when she had a stroke and lost her vision. UGH! He did it again today after swearing he would take her with him so I went to therapy and when I got back she was home alone. The man is MISERABLE and moody. There is NO TALKING to him. I was NOT selected as power of attny. MY SISTER IS and she does NOTHING to help.