A sexual awakening -- at 88 years of age.

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My mother's sexual awakening hit me by surprise in her mid to late 80s!! She fell in love with her ambulette driver who reminded her of my father as a young man. Her orthopedic oxfords and tight bun hairdo were no longer acceptable. She insisted on wearing "Mary Jane" pumps (could not find any in her size!!), "sweeping bangs", and insisted on dabbing on 'Ciara' perfume (on body parts too personal to elaborate on) from a toxic bottle she refused to throw away from the 70's. I am the daughter of a Tallulah! Can anyone relate?

4 Comments

mymothermychild, I'm a little confused. Your profile says (I think) that your mother died at 92. Is that correct?

As long as it stays within bounds (mainly that it does not disturb others) I like to see both the men and women at Mom's nursing home take an interest in their appearance and want to be noticed by the opposite sex. They are old -- not dead!
jeannequibbs: That is correct. My mom did pass away at 92. Currently I am the caregiver to my dad who is 90 but living independently with home health aides. My mother was the prude throughout her life with my "very" social dad. I am consistently in a state of reflection as I try to make sense of my past experiences with my mother and my current experience caring for my dad. I spent the evening with my dad trying to convince him to shower and comb his hair! The man who was nicknamed "Don Juan'. It just reminded me of the paradox of my mom whose sexuality bloomed and my dad who, puzzling, has become the prude.
My mother is pleased when a 93 yo man she knows at church pays attention to her. She'll try a little harder to look nice on Sundays. The man is not interested in her, so I was concerned she might get her feelings hurt. Everything has been okay, though. I think it is fine as long as nothing bad comes of it. It shows there is still a bit of fire under that white hair. The man sits with us at church. He gives her something to look forward to. No harm in that.
Well my mymother, we are sexual human beings, even if some are repressed most of their lives. I hope it made her feel good. As for figuring it out, she had dementia which brings changes to the brain and could account for her increased interest. A family member of mine, who was prudish al her life has taken on a different mantle since she was widowed, much to everyone's surprise, and I do not think it is dementia, though who knows. At 78, she could be in an early stage. Many factors are involved. I can understand your difficulty in making sense of the changes and doubt you will. People with dementia undergo behavioural changes. Apparently people without dementia do too. Bless you for caring for your mother and your father.

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