Respite! I got me some! How about you?

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Momma, didn't ask....she TOLD my sister " Boni needs a break, so from now on you can pick me up every Wednesday and I'll stay for dinner." Wooooo Hoooooo! Way to go Momma!

I also got 3 days at my brothers beach house, when Mom insisted the other sister come visit, so she could talk to her "face to face" and "set her straight" about how well she is being taken care of, and how much it actually took TO take care of her.

I guess momma WAS listening. She did good.

I think the lesson is.... we ALL need breaks but if we don't ASK or TELL people that we do, they might be oblivious, or just plain too selfish to realize it on their own.

I hope YOU all get some day's off and day's away. It's done me a world of good!

7 Comments

Yeah, baby! Enjoy every single wonderful minute of it! Have a nice, hot cup of tea or coffee for me on the beach one morning, and enjoy the sweet, sweet sound of the waves... lol

And you are so right....breaks, breaks, breaks....God knows we could all use a lot more of them than we ever get....

And yeah, Momma did do good! :)
Boni, good for you! And I was sooo surprised that your momma actually did what she did. I laughed and then told sis about it. Wow, to have every Wednesdays off. Enjoy it! And I'm glad that your momma appreciates all you do for her so that she's pro-actively getting others to start helping out.

I'm currently in Hawaii - as my respite. My boss paid for my ticket and he gave me bonus money which I'm using 100% to pay for my hotel cost for 7 nights and still have about $200 leftover for incidentals. HE thinks that I need to get off island in order to truly be on respite - away completely from caregiving. I'm enjoying and relaxing as much as I can. =)
So glad to hear that book! I hope and pray that ALL our AC friends get a rejuvenating break from the daily drudgery. I can't think of anyone that deserves it more than us!
BoniChak, I'm so glad you got some much deserved respite!! Enjoy every minute of it. Your mom sounds great! Happy she could vocalize how much you do for her to your siblings.
Good for you, Boni. You are 100% right. We need breaks and we need to take care of ourselves also. If we don't take care of ourselves, we can't take care of our loved one.

Probably 40 years ago, my parents kept my Father's mother for about 2 years. This woman raised 15 kids, 12 of whom also lived in the same town. Now all the other brothers and sisters were good, go-to-church-every-Sunday, people. Me, not so much. But did any of those people ever offer their brother, my Father, if he and my Mother might like a break. I used to drive an hour to go home and stay with my grandmother for a weekend to give them a break every now and then.

When I first moved home to help Mother about 7 years ago, it was only because my home town has no public transportations or taxis and that was the only way I could get her to top driving. But when I came, I told my 2 brothers, I'll take over driving Mother to everything, all her needs and errands and appoints. However, I'm not going to kill myself doing it. When I need to get away, I'm going and you need to step up.

At that time, I used to go to Denver for 2-3 weeks about every 3 months. They used to say, when will you be back and I'd just answer, when you see me. Let them guess.

Well, now it has progressed that she has dementia and needs someone every day. When I felt I couldn't do 7 days a week, I hired a women for 2 hours, 3 days a week. My one brother then got the sense of what all I was doing, so he offered to take over Sundays all day -- my only thing I do on a regular basis -- my Sunday night poker game. Super cheap game, but so very necessary.

Plus, this past Friday, I got back from 5 days in Ocean City, MD. OMG, that was so nice a break. I can't leave for more days than that, but I do get away, sometimes maybe only one night about every 2 or so months.

My one brother has no clue and never offers a thing, but the Sunday brother is super and understands and supports me so much.

If he didn't, I'd still just tell them, I'm out of here. She's also your Mother and if you don't step up, I have the POA and I'll just spend your inheritance to have someone stay with her, but I'm getting a break no matter what.

Glad for you, Boni! Hope all caregivers understand how important respite is.

So,
Boni it's about time.. Enjoy! I agree you have to ask for help or it's not going to happen..

My husband and I and our friend who lost her husband at 51 are going away for a week in Oct... Off to the beach we go!!! My sister will be coming here to look after Mom while we're gone.. Yippee!!!
So glad for you Boni!

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