Trying to set up respite care for a week so I can get a break very overwhelmed.

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So the case manager lady came to my Mom's and Step dad's house and all of a sudden my Step dad say's I can take care of your Mom the week you are gone and I said no you can't you are always on your computer and have your course on Fridays and you don't know how to cook I have been taking care of you also he said I am not an imbecile I said I know your not then the lady said well do you need help or not to my Mom I look at her like you better speak up or your stuck with him saying he is going to help and then doesn't like in the past my Mom finally said yes I need help for that week then the case manager said well we can only help with your issues which is my Mom if you want someone to cook your Husbands food then you will have to hire private care which is more expensive. My Step dad said I will cook my dinner. I thought to myself then why haven't you? Hello! Anyways feeling frustrated and guilty that I am going away. I am worrying about my Mom already and I am in debt up to my ears, it's not funny, but I needed to get away. Need someone's advice please read my older post so you kinda know what's going on with me and my Mom and Step dad

17 Comments

Fine let the cook make her meals and he can live on baloney and graham crackers all week. Just get away and forget about it. He is not as helpless as he pretends to be. He can pretend he is in deer camp and survive on jerky and beer.
Your mom is covered. If it would make you feel better, fill the fridge and pantry with ready-made snacks/meals for him. I love the jerky and beer idea from pstegman. But in addition to stocking up on beer, you might get sliced cheese, raw vegetables, fruit, and maybe boiled eggs and baked chicken. I buy these jars of beans for my hubby's lunches. They're from Trader Joe's, and a jar is pretty much a meal in a pinch.
Thank you both so much for making me feel better but my Step Dad is still trying to cancel and say he will take care of my Mom but he doesn't he just does it for a few days and then goes back up to his computer and she calls him then he gets frustrated and I have seen him get a little rough with her twice before .
It is very difficult for elders to admit they need help. You have to take care of you too. I believe you won't relax even if you get away if proper care is not in place. Is there another relative that can come in and give your needed break?
"getting a little rough with her" is a whole different issue. It may be time for him to be on some medications, the withdrawal/aggression is a serious indicator of neurological problems. Talk to his MD about this and definitely get her to respite for her own safety.
Maybe you could take her to a respite care center for that week. I use a respite care center 1 week per month (it helps me keep my sanity).
My Step Dad is trying to cancel still ??
Yep my Step Dad is still talking about canceling respite care I am stressed out sick of it he knows he doesn't take care of my Mom or I would not be here to take care of both of them hello?? He is saying he will do it sorry but WTFrigg I am cooking for him right now I am doing everything but my Mom wants the respite care!! Help chest is in pain just typing this??
I hope you took that vacation?
I haven't left yet on my vacation but it is coming up soon kinda nervous going on the jet planes leaving my Mom even though she will have respite care just hope my Step-Dad doesn't cancel or talk my Mom into it! Feeling guilty my relationship isn't going well at the moment not sleeping feeling depressed anxiety etc the works.

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