Resentment, depression, and physical limits.
My husband has been bed-ridden since 2006. I used to rely on him to drive, fix up the house, and work. Okay, the money thing is always bad, and nothing will change that now. I, as well, am on SS Disability for mental issues, but I am seeing a doc and dealing with it. Depression right now is overwhelming, in spite of meds and counc. etc. Recently, I had a city worker come out to the house. I have to level my yard so it drains properly, put on a new roof, and generally get things better. I have a bad back, tendonitis in my shoulders, and am going to physical therapy to help that. I have already used the only help the city can give when the main water pipe busted last year in my yard. If I move, I owe that back. I don't have it to pay back, nor does hubby want to get rid of the house that's been in his family for 100 years.
Problem right now is I have to do all of this alone, with little to no help from those who I have helped over the years. I am feeling angry, furious, resentful of hubby for his illness that will not allow him to help, and I want to lay down in the front yard and scream until the men with the white jackets come to take me away. I'm also sobbing far too much.