My mother is 92 and living with us. She is openly resentful and jealous of my marriage which is great, and doesn't like my husband. She complains about him to me and to my friends. Not a day can go by without her saying something negative about him. He waits on her, gives her breakfast in bed and tolerates her bad attitude. I don't know why other than the fact that she had two bad marriages and I truly thinks she hates men. She has done this to me before my marriage (with boyfriends etc) has played the same game with my brother and his relationships. I take it as long as I can and eventually get mad and we have words. Then she adopts the "poor Mum" attitude. It's always about her. I'm wrong because I blew up! She's never responsible for her actions and comments. At my most recent yearly physical my Dr. noticed I was being "beaten up" and he tried to tell me that she has to be accountable for her actions. How do you change a 92 year old who has been playing the poor me game all her life and using it to manipulate all those around her. She has alienated most of her friends because of being so outspoken. I try to just let the things she does and the things she says about my husband not get to me but it happens daily. She is in fairly good health and doesn't have dementia. Just normal aging forgetfulness. A nursing home is not an option, I just couldn't do that to her. Assisted living is way to expensive $6,000 a month in our area). I'm at my wits end and don't know what to do. She is literally robbing me of my last few years with my own Mum! Her mother was a nasty, selfish outspoken person and I guess that's all she knows. She could be so happy here with us, but she just won't let herself. Not to mention the fact that our lives are in complete chaos. Any thoughts from other caregivers would be greatly appreciated. I just don't know where to turn. I'm 61........am I too old to run away from home?? Sometimes I'm tempted. Thankfully, I have found so much comfort from this site already. We are all kindred spirits!
Thanks again all!