Relocating my elderly mother to Florida.

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I am about to retire. Three years ago my 90+ year old mother moved from New York to live with my sister in California. My sister is 71 and last year had surgeries on both knees. Within six months of moving to the East Bay area, my mother had to have her gall bladder removed. The doctors did not believe she would survive but thank God she did and she came out of hospice care. She now is only able to use a walker for short distances in the house. I am going to become the primary care taker and move her to Florida. My mother was born in St. Augustine, Florida and grew up there. My parents left Florida prior to WWII. The Florida's weather would be good for her. Although I have visited Florida nearly a dozen times, I have never lived there. Where in Florida would you suggest to be a good place to relocate my mother. I am not interested in moving to Miami nor Jacksonville. However, I am open to all other areas in Florida. Your suggestions for places in Florida would be good for an elderly person such as my mother? I am single, my girl friend for more than a decade broke up with me because between work and flying out to the west coast I had no time for her.


I love in Florida and recently moved my elderly mother hear near me. But I think you should move to where you have the best support system.

People like The Villages, south of Ocala. St Augustine is nice because you do get some cooler weather. Further south like Naples and Miami can be really hot in the summer. People often leave, so the stores, etc. are less crowded.

When I moved my mother I bought her a first class plane ticket. She was thrilled because she had never flown first class before and the more comfortable seat was well worth it.

It took about 2 years and I finally have her settled and now were being transferred to Texas!
Moving can be a disruption for the elderly. If you have no special place in Florida to go to you could consider a move to CA where your mother has already settled. It would also maintain her contact with her daughter and probably support you in your role as primary care taker. My personal choice in FL is the West Coast near Naples.
We have been watching the temps in the winter in Florida. This is something else to consider for yourself as your Mother is 91, and you may want to settle into a community where you'll enjoy the weather year round as well. Remember, this will take a toll on you, and you'll appreciate support and social outlets wherever you decide to perch.
Jake have you consider to get help for your sister.Your mother is settled in CA since War 2 with the right help system.Your mother will be ok so think about if she is happy there,or not if she is already settled she is almost 100 yrs in about 10 yrs that is a more blessing than anything life can bring..
I was thinking CA also. We have beautiful weather and you would be close to your sister in the East Bay. CA doesn't get the Florida humidity :)
CA, near your Sister, is good option.If you want Florida first decide if you will live with Mom or want support for her and your own living space. If you will be together, do you want apartment, condo,house-rent or buy? Pick a place for "active seniors" for yourself. Call 800# for State Eldercare office, ask for referrals to agency for any homecare Mom might need (nurse, personal care aid for showers etc) This office can also give you referrals to areas where they have Senior Ctrs and Adult Day Care Programs with door to door transport by minibus that is handicapped equipped. Just moved my 91yr old Mom from NY to Vero Beach (she did not want to leave NY but I will not live there again) Mom was always cold & seldom bothered by heat-but I must monitor hydration. Get all your referrals and make contact with them before you move as things do go slower
Jake we always have time we just get caught up in working,and everyday lives..
Thank you all so much for your thoughtful responses to my question. Your advice on the temperature/referral agencies/my mother's preferences is appreciated. I am now in a better position to make decision.
My mother has only been in California for three years. Unfortunately, she does not like being in the east bay at all. She does not know anyone out there. My sister lives in an unincorporated town with no buses and no access-a-ride. Although it is warm to me, my mother constantly complaints about how cold it is in the east bay area. She is very unhappy there. Although she likes the heat, we will have air conditioning. Now my sister does provide good basic care, however, she is not a nourishing type of woman who can provide emotional and psychological support. For example unlike my mother, my sister is not a shopping type of person (she does her shopping via catalogue). My mother is just the opposite and she even enjoys window shopping without buying anything. My sister would never take my mother shopping even if it would save her life. It is like: Here your are, you have been fed, you are clean so I am off to my side of the house and I'll see you later. . . call me if you need me. That is all for now. When we come out there we take her to the departments, then out to lunch or dinner. After any outing she needs to rest for two or three days before we can take her out again.
My sister who has a great support system for herself with three of her four grown married sons living close by. Hers sons stop by and call frequently and will take care of things around the house. My sister, however, is the only siblings in California. For the past three years, I have been flying out to California no less than three times a year if not four. I do not wish to relocate to California - the State is in the red and the taxes are too high.
My mother is on social security and this is her sole source of income prior to her disability. My intention is to lease a large enough house/apartment and have my mother live with me as the new primary caretaker. I want to find a community that would be good for her and for me. My siblings and I are already paying for some 30 hours of home attendant care for mom's custodial care. I did contact the Florida Department of the Elderly in one county, but that individual said she was unable to give any estimate on what assistance the State of Florida would provide until the State had examined her case and had conducted medical examinations. However, Florida is a rather large state with many different aspects. My mother's condition will not get better and I can only hope that she will remain in a positive and pleasant state of mind. Since my mother grew up in Florida and (she is still in her right mind) she has told us that she would be willing to move to Florida (however she would like to return to New York) the move to Florida would be positive. Thanks again for your help.

Well, i think you have your answer. Cost of living in the Bay Area is too high for sure. Shoot, I am ready to move to Florida.
The added info is helpful. Someone mentioned The Villages; people rave about the quality of life there. Plenty of shopping in FL. But NY benefits are (for now) far superior for elders. Hope the move goes well and a happy ending for all.

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