Entertaining Mom's Visitors (vacationers).
I come here pretty often but rarely post. I am in severe need of a good venting! My 96-year-old mother moved into my house about 2+ years ago. She can be very sweet and little-girlish but is usually hateful, miserable and manipulative. Let me add stubborn.
Recently my niece "the doctor" in CA called to say that she, her husband and 18-month-old were coming to visit grandma. I haven't heard from her for a year. Not one ounce of support or concern for me. She asked if they could stay here for those 5 days. She knows we (my boyfriend and I) are really cramped for space since "giving" mom 1/2 the house (so that she would have her familiar bed, couch, etc.). We use the guest bedroom and the other bedroom is now our office. I have a Newfoundland, a LOUD parrot and a kitten that has turned out to be a biter. The kitten and bird are always in our end of the house.She thought the baby could sleep in the office but I actually spoke up for myself for once and told her that wasn't possible. So she and her husband will be sleeping in mom's bed and they will ship a bed for him to sleep in. Mom insists on sleeping on her couch. (anything for the doctor) I'm sure mom put my niece up to asking to stay here.
My sis and her husband (next door) are retired, and have an extra room.Mom told her that she hates going back and forth. (by car...we live in the country). Last year they stayed there. But mom only goes there maybe 4-5 times/year and is very excited to have the visitors stay here. Sis even tried to discourage my niece from staying here, but no, she aims to please grandma. Which is probably why she is her favorite, just like her father was. (he passed away a little over a year ago). After a conversation last night with this niece, I am realizing that I should have just said no. I am fretting over this too much. She asked which bathroom grandma would use since she and her husband would be sleeping in the master bedroom with grandma's bathroom attached. Well, I told her grandma couldn't walk the distance to my bathroom. (sorry if it rains on your honeymoon...lol). Then she tells me she only eats organic. I'm thinking, "well here we go...) I am such a pushover. I am really not liking me too much these days for not sticking up for myself. I am an on-call hospice nurse and will be on duty for 3 of the days they will be here. I am TOTALLY stressed about the food, the criticism of my care for her (she REFUSES to see anymore docs and doesn't hesitate to trash me), the visitors who will be here to visit the visitors, the cat, the bird, getting called out at all hours, plus I have started smoking again (horrors!) etc...My boyfriend is very protective of me and assures me that we will get through this. I was stressed before this, now I think this will push me into full-blown caregiver burnout. After I told my niece how difficult mom could be she told me there was a special place in heaven for me. Exactly what I wanted to hear. just please say a prayer for me to ask God to help get me through this fiasco. Thanks for listening, I needed that! God bless all caregivers, you are always in my prayers.