My mom is almost 90 and in what was supposed to be short term rehab after aspirating. The rehab place says they don't want her to live alone.

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My mom is almost 90 and in what was supposed to be short term rehab after aspirating. The rehab place says they don't want her to live alone anymore (she was using a walker prior to this stay, but becoming less balanced), now they want her in a wheel chair. We've applied to "assisted living" places, but because she is on what they call "supervised status" when getting from chair to bed and chair to toilet, the assisted living places say she cannot live "independently" therefore cannot live in their facility. Mom's mind is great, attitute great, just needs someone to watch, not even assist with transitions, partly due to balance and partly due to not being used to the wheel chair. When I google assisted living, it appears that assistance with toileting or transitioning is part of what to expect from assisted living facilities. Why can't I find a place that actually provides that? I'm a little scared that a full nursing facility may be too drastic at this time, since the assistance she needs is with transitioning, and I've seen her in prior too long rehab stays which made her depressed. We have applied for Medicaid (taking forever to process). Another thought is she is in CT I am in MA and if she goes to LTC facility I would like her near me, but no one can answer how to move Medicaid to my state....

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As stated above she is not going to be accepted at any AL probably check to see if she can be placed medicaide pending that gives you time and the social worker at the NH will help greatly with the application and they will get on it so they can get paid. A tiered facility is good if she were independent but she probably needs a NH.
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Moving Medicaid from 1 state to another can be done but there are some issues involved. Keep in mind that Medicaid is a joint federal & state program (unlike Medicare which is all federal) and each state administers Medicaid with it's own special twist. She would have to qualify for the new state which means becoming a resident of the new state. Each states laws about property ownership and death(estate) laws make a difference in Medicaid qualification & Medicaid estate recovery. This is why you can't get a clear answer on transferring her.

If your mom has any property related assets- like a home (which is exempt under Medicaid) or car or sometimes a funeral / burial policy - and she moves from state # 1 to state #2 the "exempt" asset becomes "non-exempt" as she is no longer a resident of state #1. It's the sort of issue you don't really think about when doing planning but can make a difference. This happened a lot with elders that had a home but were living in a NH when they got displaced from Hurricane Katrina in 2005 and ended up in other states - the Louisiana or Mississippi home that was exempt was now not exempt as they were residing in another state. Just a hornets nest to get through. My late MIL was in a NH in NOLA which moved it's residents to TX. Some of the other ladies ended up having to move to small NH in north LA to stay on Medicaid as they couldnt qualify for TX because of property in LA. If your mom has property it's something to think about.

Whatever the case, if there is a bank that is in CT and MA, have her account opened up there with direct deposit of her SS and any other retirement $ so you can manage it and it will make a future review &/or residency easier.

About the facility, at almost age 90, you need to be a bit more realistic. She isn't likely to get better and the facility well knows this. Sounds like she has had several short rehab stays - that's a red flag on placement for AL. It's not that they don't want her, it's more that they know she will not be capable for what they expect of their AL residents and she will have to be moved to a higher level of care in the near future. A good AL will do a site assessment on her & if the current place won't take her as AL, she pretty well is toast on getting accepted at another AL unless you have medical that shows she will be a lot better in the near future.

Go and look at other facilities to see what is available in CT - if there are some that also have places or affiliates in MA that could work in helping out for a future move. Catholic Charities often have AL places in multiple states. Look to place her in a "tiered" facility (has from IL to AL to NH to hospice) that would imho be ideal in that she can move from 1 level of care to another without quite so much of a huge and confusing adjustment for her. Good luck.
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Get the social worker at the rehab place to help you with this, pronto. CT has pretty generous benefits, relatively speaking, and the social worker will know what happens to/for your Mom is she moves states. Is there money to bring in help while your mom lives back at home, pending somewhere that works for her?
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