Recently found out my mother has dementia and am scared to death! Having lots of issues with her and for myself and need support and guidance as I'm an only child, unmarried and have no children to assist me in helping to take care of her and have been unemployed for a year and a half now and unable to find another job.
I currently live apart from my mother (about 30 minutes away) in California and have started going to her home more recently to assist her and am finding out that many challenges for her have been taking place for her unbeknownst to me as she hasn't told me she needed help with any of these issues.
For starters, she is forgetting or can't remember if she's taken her medications. I've recently tried creating a daily check list with time of day and medication for her to help her visually remember by but I'm afraid that's going to be based on if she remembers to refer to that list or not and not sure if this is going to work.
I also recently discovered that her finances are all screwed up as well. Her only means for financial support these days is what she gets from Social Security which isn't much as she no longer has any pension/retirement money coming in nor any savings as she was the victim of a sweepstakes scam a while back which basically cleaned her out financially before I was able to find out about it and couldn't recover from it. Would putting my name on her checking account suffice in order to take over her finances or is there something else I need to do?
She also owns her own home which needs a lot of work.. primarily right now .. sewage work and was wondering if there any programs/grants available to help the elderly for this issue?
As stated previously, I haven't been able to find work for over a year and a half now and have drained all my finances to stay afloat and keep my own house where I ended up getting on a federal program to temporarily make the house note (and can't sell for 5 years after I find work else will have to pay all that money back) and food stamps to buy food and charity loans from friends and am up to my own ears in other unpaid debts all while trying to look for work with my primary goal now to better help my mother and it has honestly been really really tough to say the least. It's been hard to stay positive when one thing after another, life has unfolded more and more challenges for me over this time to deal with and there are days I am so down that I can't find the strength to continue trying to look for work let alone deal with the constant fear of not being able to take care of my mother without a job.
Aside from what I've stated above... I just feel very very alone, frustrated and scared every day for the past year now constantly wondering on a daily basis how I'm going to get back on my feet to help her let alone fear for my mother about everything... Sometimes I just need to know I'm not the only one and am not alone is all.... Just tired of feeling helpless and tired!