Realized that I have to start moving on from my grief and start living.
I went to the cemetery over the weekend, as I usually do and go through the same self questioning, apologizing, and feeling sad over my mom. Then after a few minutes I suddenly came to the realization that I have to move on and start living my life. And as soon as I thought that, the feelings of sadness and grief just left me. And while I still miss my mom, it's not with the same depth of grief or yearning. That realization just snapped me out of it. My mom is in the next world, as I believe, and I am still here with who knows how many years left. So the issue is and has been moving out of state as I have wanted to do for many years. I have been vacillating back and forth, should I move or stay. And I realize that at 65 years old I need to move, just to accomplish this goal I have and wanted to do for many years. If I don't I know I will feel disappointed in myself and that an opportunity has passed. So I am trying to stick with this goal of moving. I feel I really can't and don't want to stay here anymore. So I am giving it a go in 3 or 4 months. If it doesn't work out, I am still in a good position to move somewhere else. But I feel that time is running out and I need to live the life I've wanted to live for a long time in an area I've always loved since I was young. Curious what your advice would be. Any advice, thoughts, concerns is welcome and would be helpful. Thanks.