Did not realize how much we needed a night away!


Being a new caregiver I did not realize how much this was all affecting me and my wife. My dad moved in in May after my mom died a year ago. It is been OK but I'm exhausted! I took my dad on an 8 day fishing trip across the county as a possibly last big trip and to help him ease into the transition living with us. That was very tiring for me (not much of a vacation). When I got back leaving my wife for 8 days wasn't the best idea (it was a weak moment when mom died that I planned the trip). Any how, short fuses and lack of romance has made it a challenge at home. So I planned a night away. Our daughter came home for the weekend with her husband to keep and eye on our dog (wink wink nudge nudge). They kept dad busy with a few things. Anyhow we took off with no plan to one of our favorite areas to take off to that is close by. I had to get a hotel, lots were booked and plenty with very high room rates. Trying to be fiscally responsible I looked around for something nice but not crazy. Long story short we got a room at a nice hotel, not a cheap rate but I bit the bullet. It was tense as the sense of no service was in the air and I was a bit testy. To add to that the "suite" they gave us was of all things (they did not tell us) handicap! Not that I am opposed to it but A. they did not inform us and B. It looked like a hospital bathroom! I was trying to escape all of that! Low and behold it took some of the romance away for a little while. I vented to the staff (in a professional way). We ended up with a nice time and they did take about 30% off the bill so it made me feel a little better about dropping major coin for 12 hours. Anyway we had a nice time, dinner, relaxing and a nice drive home to a house my daughter cleaned top to bottom (didn't need it but very nice)! I did not realize how relaxed I was last night and this morning. It was majorly over due. My kids are great! We all needed some time in our own corners for a while. Next trip is being planned even if it is a night away! Way over due! I read the posts about getting away, it is so needed! Looks like I will be getting more hotel points this year. Next time I just book the suite, plan the real nice dinner and not wince about how much it costs , so much cheaper than an attorney (insert canned laughter).

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Actually I am the caregiver. I work at home, she works out of the house. I'm with it all day. He is ambulatory just is here all the time. Trying to get him socially active. Tonight he has a lodge meeting with a person we introduced him to, so he will be out for a few hours. My objective is to get him to meet new people and get out and do things. He gets fixated on one thing and it becomes the talk of the hour so I retreat to my basement office. Even though we are not giving him medical care it is taxing on our mental state. Things are getting a little better, its only been since May but I get tired of dealing with everything. Tonight I will plan a quiet dinner for the 2 of us, it will be a real treat! Even though we are not wealthy we like to enjoy nice things but I still have to watch my money (although sometimes it is worth it to splurge)!

Splurge a little, stay a whole weekend next time. Major coins do not matter when you are trying to relax. I assume your wife does most of the caregiving and she would probably enjoy a girls' weekend away with friends or daughter(s).

If only more families could be this helpful! You are soooo lucky!!