Last night I read someone's question that asked if they were the only one who wished their Mom would just die.
No they're not; It may sound cruel or blunt but when you've watched your elderly parents suffer for so long, that's a different story. My dad is 82, not really sick, lives alone, still pretty much independent-driving too, which makes me nervous- I do whatever for him, although he has other kids, he always calls me, and he wouldn't have it any other way. My mom is 78, I call her Ninny Nitpicker. She's diabetic, has congestive heart failure, gout, high blood pressure, arthritis, on several medications, has a UTI she can't get rid of, and losing her mind, etc. I'm 33, a single mother of very active 9yr old twin girls, and a 6 month old son who is teething and trying to walk. After one of my mother's many visits to the hospital, and spending some time at her sisters', she decided she wanted to be home. After her 1st night home, I went to check on her and haven't left. In a couple weeks, it will be 3 months, that my kids & I have sacrificed our beds to stay with my mom in her 1 bdrm apt. I have great girls, they don't really complain- grandma has cable, we don't, and they love their grandma to death, though she is driving them crazy too. I've made it as comfortable as possible; there's just enough space for the blow-up I sleep on with the baby, and the girls sleep on the couches. I'm not up for trying to put her in a nursing home, though I am wrapping my brain around the fact that it may come to that; but I need a house to put us all in and I finish taking care of her the best I can, I'm not even rich, but I am looking; technically right now I have no income, although I've taken over my mother's money to take care of her bills, which I pick and choose whose the most important to get paid. She's forgotten about all the unnecessary crap she's bought from HSN, QVC, & ShopNBC that she's barely ever touched, used, looked at, some of it still wrapped up. She's been bankrupt before, and I guess after awhile she decided she would rather die in debt. I'm not paying for this shit; the collectors can call and call till the cows come home, they'll just be calling. I doubt any of her other kids will be chipping in on her debt after death either; yes my mom has other kids also; all of my sibs are my half sibs on both sides. I'm the baby, the one that can always be caught a hold of the most and more flexible with my time throughout my own somewhat busy life. Sometimes I feel like I'm losing it myself, but I make sure I pray, try to make it to church, watch church on tv if I have to; God helps me hold it together; He knows I love a challenge and this is my biggest one yet; Honor thy mother and father, which is the 1st command with a promise that it may go well with you all the days of your life. Yes honor thy mother and father even if they make it hard. I've never really been that close to my parents, though they've always been there for me even throughout my mistakes, but it's always come with the price of a little bit of me. My parents have done a great job of teaching me what I don't want to be, ADD- Alone, Depressed, & Depressing. I do have the open mind to realize that the way they are isn't totally their fault, but it's supposed to be up to you as an individual to spin that in the positive direction; they tried, but not hard enough. Have you ever wished your parents would've gave you away? Try that on for size. It's like watching them race to see whose going to stop 1st, they've already slowed down, my mom a little more than my dad. Some days my mom just looks like death, at times throughout the day. The kids cheer her up, along with phone calls, and visits, she always wants to pick up/hold the baby which is way more than what she's supposed to handle, then she goes back into "decrepit old woman" mode. Some of us think she's been having panic attacks. She has a 911 habit she wants to go to the hospital. It doesn't even matter if she takes her meds & insulin for the day, it doesn't change her feeling so bad all the time. It's awhile between wash-ups. Thank God she not a stinky woman; but I know she's not up to it even if I were to help her. She's been making me want to change my name. Yes I'm ready for it to be over. No more moaning/groaning, no more nagging/nitpicking, no more craving sugar she's not supposed to have, no more meds, no more shots, no more oxygen machine, no more struggle to breathe, no more 50,000 unimportant questions, no more looking like death/despair half the time, just no more. I can let her go. Back to my life. God Bless.