We put mom in a memory care nursing home two and a 1/2 weeks ago (need to vent).
Well we found a really nice place for my mom and had to tell her that we enrolled her into a club house for older folks. We told her she had to see the doctor to make sure she was healthy enough to join them and go places with them, to my surprise she agreed to the doctors appt.
Well after all the papers were signed and we had her ready to go she refused to go. My brother and I had to lie to her again and told her that we had worked so hard and sunk lots of money into setting this up for her. We told her that we had paid reservations for lunch at this place and we are not happy at all that she is refusing to go. We just wanted her to go for lunch and see how she liked it, 1 hour later she agreed to go for 20 minutes tops! We took her to lunch and walked out one at a time and didn't see her or call her for 2 weeks. ( thats what the NH staff suggested us to do) I felt like My Heart was gonna stop I cried all night!!!! I called the place every day to check on her and they told me she spent her time going back and forth to windows and doors trying to get out. After a couple of days she was getting to know her room mate and joining in some of the activities. But she was still acting very bitter.
For me to call and just talk to the nurses was very hard on me as well.
My brother and I went to see her after 2 weeks was up and she was all over us, " how could you just leave me like that" "You take me home right now", "I forgive you", And "i promise never to fight with ihanaa again", "Things will be better I promise"!! She said she has be there 2 months already.
It amazes me just what they pick and choose to remember (or it seems like they pick and choose to me anyway) So I came back the next day to be there for her hair appt. All she wants is to get out, No matter how many times I tried to change the subject. Now to day 3, She wouldn't let go of me so that I could leave, The nurses had to hold her back....I'm Crying again ( I CAN"T TAKE THIS!!!) I feel like a bad monster. It's just as bad as having her home 24/7 and stressing over taking care of her and chasing her out of the street all of the time and trying to tell her she had already done something that she swears she didn't.. Day 4 of seeing her, I didn't... I couldn't do it. :,( Tomorrow will be day 5 and I still don't know if I can bring myself to go in and see her.
In the mean time I am by myself to completely clean out her house and sell everything so that we will have the funds to continue her care in the home and I can go back east to my family that I moved away from to take care of her 2 years ago.
This has been one really really big emotional roller coaster that I never ever want to be on ever again, I wouldn't wish this situation on anyone!!!
Just needed to vent somewhere! Going to bed now, feeling like I can't breath again.