We all have different backgrounds and history with our "charges". We all have our own reasons why we are in this situation. It helps me to tell about how my mother used to be. This is why I do what I do now, even though she is driving me nutz and wearing me to a frazzle.
Mom was a war bride and later, a stay-at-home mother. Being a farm girl from a large family, she was a fabulous cook, seamstress, bookkeeper, and homemaker. She made sure her children were clean, well-dressed (even though money was scarce), and introduced to church and discipline. Though not comfortable with physical shows of affection, Mom was a nice person, unselfish, and cared most of all about her family. One day my girlfriend commented that she loved the dress Mom made me so Mom spent the next few days making one like it for my friend. For free. My boyfriend came home for lunch with me every day so Mom fed him, too, for free.
Another time, Dad won some points for sales at work and he told Mom to choose us some things from a catalog. She chose something for him, something small for each of us kids, and a pretty watch for herself. When I saw the watch, I loved it and thanked her, believing it was for me. She didn't correct me...she let me have the watch that she'd waited 18 years for and I knew no difference until someone slipped and told me years later. Dad was the provider of our "Leave It To Beaver" household, but it was Mom that maintained the family.
Now she doesn't have AZ but is obsessing and demanding, picky, hypochondriac, and narcissistic. But because she was so good to me, giving me a dream childhood, I will endure whatever I have to while she lives. She's wishing she was dead, wearing my brothers and me down, and exasperating her doctors, but we all love her and are trying to be patient and grateful.
If you have good memories of your parent's or spouse's good points and it will help you to recall and write about them, I'd enjoy hearing about them. It might help to remind ourselves why we are doing this.
This is just a respite for me, though...I fully intend to utilize the whine section!