Plans for our own care.
Quite frankly, dealing with my parents declining physical and mental health the past five years - my fathers slow, painful death and my mothers dementia and even slower declining health has scared the bejeezus out of me in regards to my own aging. My husband has two separate heart conditions and my son who is severely disabled - is an only child. While one never knows, I think there is a good chance I will find myself alone in my old age. I am not close to my brothers or their children and while my husband has a 26 yr old daughter from a previous relationship- we literally only hear from her every few months when she needs money. I can remember when my mothers mother was put into a nursing home and had mild dementia- she was a handful and my mother once said to me "if I ever get like that, tell me". So a couple of years ago I told her and reminded her of what she said. Moms reply? "I never said that"! Here on this site I see it all the time - posters saying "I never want my children to have to take care of me" or "I'll never do to my kids what my mother/father has done to me". But how will we know? What if the dementia kicks in and we become our loved one without realizing it? So - it's got me thinking...in my position I can't do to my son what my mothers done to me - it's impossible. So what will become of me? It's got me wanting to make some plans - a safety net, of sorts. I'm sure many of you are thinking about this too, in one way or another. Has anyone actually made any plans - any concrete steps to ensure you don't end up sitting alone in a soiled Depends, with your house falling down around your ears? I would love to start preparing - but without obsessing. So a movie quote to close: "You think too much about the time you have left- You don't spend it living". ~Violet Devereaux - The Skeleton Key