My pastor told me 4 years ago to plan ahead when my mom was diagnosed with dementia. My sister and I sat down together and did just that.
First, she couldn't live alone but could be left at home for periods of time and even sit with my nephew. So she moved in with my sister with the idea that when she no longer could be alone my sister would quit her job. 2 years ago she did just that and my mother's income became my sister's income.
We sold mom's house and put the money in the bank. The next step we planned was to move her to my house when it became too hard for my sister with an 8 year old to devote her time to. The time came 4 months ago and I quit my job, my sister went back to work and I moved her in with me and my husband (kids are in college). This has been working very well. I take her to daycare twice a week (which she doesn't want to go to but enjoys while she is there) The next step will be into assisted living in a dementia unit. I have had my mother accepted into a Senior Care residence through my church even though she is not ready yet. When she is ready they will take her- it could be months from now, or a couple years. The point is- each time a plan was in place, the burden and fear was lifted. I know at which point I can not longer care for my Mom and don't have to worry about what will happen. It makes today alot easier. I understand that not everyone is blessed with a sister to work with in this situation, but any planning that can be done ahead of time / any worry you can knock off your list with lessen your burden