I placed mom in SNF but now feel guilty.

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Well, after 3 weeks in Long Term Care, my mom sounds like she wants to die, call the police, lawyer etc.


She still has her marbles mostly, but after 4-5 falls, massive weakness, all the hospitals, rehab, ambulances, I cannot afford 24/7 Care at her home. It was $290/day and I cannot swing it..


Been 2 years of drama, and I'm just so conflicted..


Really tears me up now. Especially that she is all alone in FL and just wants her condo back..


Thanks for listening..

3 Comments

jlm, So many of us, including myself know what you are feeling. Try not to feel guilty. I know it is so hard not to but eventually there comes a time when you've done all you can and it just is not working anymore. You will feel conflicted.............if you didn't it would mean you didn't care, so look at it that way.

When it came time to place my Mom in residential care I bawled almost every day, but hindsight is twenty twenty and today two years after Mom passed I know that if I hadn't placed her she would have died much sooner than she did.

Come here and vent and cry or whatever you have to do. But rest assured you have done the right thing and others on here will explain it better than I can that you should take that guilt you feel and flush it down the toilet. :)

She may be focusing on her old condo, but I think what she really wants is her old life back, the one where she was healthy and independent and had friends to visit and places to go. You have provided for her the best way that you can, her unhappiness isn't you fault because no matter what you do or where she lives she can not recapture her youth.
Thank you

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