I'd like to hear from people who find the positive in caring for a parent or loved one.

Started by

I've been on here for about 6 months and it's very helpful. Many of us know what its like to have long day's at work and at the same time trying to take care of a loved one.

I'd like to hear some positive things from people who look at the plusses of being a caregiver.

So, please don't respond if you resent being a caregiver etc and you want to go on the rampage of the down sides.

And, please don't judge me for posting this. Ive been on here for about 6 months, but I've been a caregiver much longer. So yes, I know all to well what it's like to be a caregiver.

We can all us some good thoughts, especially after long days.


I have been my moms, dads, both 92 for approx. two years.my husbands for about seven years now. I see nothing but the plus in caregiving for all of them. what makes it easy for me is the love I have for them and the love I get back in return. both parents, 92, one dementia one alztimers, incontinence, bedridden, heart issues etc. have some bad days but I refuse to dwell on them. I love the stories and closeness I have when they are in their 'normal minds" which isn't much anymore. but even when they are in "lala land" the stories that come out of their mouths make me laugh all day. I get to enjoy them no matter what. hubby tries to chip in as much as possible. cant do very much but I am great full for the little bit he can do. I have four sisters who have been missing in action for a decade or more. they claim they have their own lives, well so do I and my parents have been and always will be part of my it... I make sure I enjoy each and every day of whatever time I have left with all of them. do I cry and get down sometimes , I sure do but its not because of what I am doing its because I know I can lose it at any time. I actually moved in with my parents as I didn't want to get them all balled up with the dementia by moving them around and my husbands lives in our home and he comes over every day and some nights. for us it works as we both get to be together with each other and with my parents.
a day doesn't go by that I don't enjoy spending as much time with all of them as I can. see I look at it as each day is a special present and I cant wait to open it and enjoy it for the day, as I don't know how much longer I will have that present. my parents brought me into this world, loved me endlessly and now its my please to love and help them out to their end of life.
Regrets not me.......have to much love for them all to regret anything..........
I take care of my mom with stage 7 Alzheimer's. Today is her 81st birthday! It is a pleasure to care for her! She sang along each time we sing Happy birthday to her. I choose to do this because I love my mom and feel she gets better care here than she could get anywhere else. She has the money to be private pay in a top facility, but I still feel her care here is better.

We have had many precious moments over the years since her diagnosis in 2009. My grandchildren have had many priceless times loving and serving their great grandmother.
I would rather take care of my mom, I want to spend every moment of her before she dies.
I think it brings out the best I've ever been. Except for being a mom whose baby got kicked out of the nursery at 4 hours old for being "the fussy one ". I worked in psych wards. That helps. I have whatever it takes to deal with it. Bottom line. My mom didn't chose this. Neither did I. But I'm here. Doing all I can, to make her life the best it can be
Dear Roger,

Thank you for starting this thread. There are always two sides. And since my dad passed I think I forgot about the good side. My dad always trusted me to help him. I think his belief in me, made me more independent and action oriented and capable person. I did not come from a demonstrative family, but I hope with my actions I showed my dad I truly cared. I wanted him to be happy. I wanted him to have his favorite coffee and foods. I wanted him to be comfortable. I wanted him to have his own way. I am grateful for having a good daddy. Grateful I saw him as much as I did because now more than ever, I still wish he was here.
Seeing my Mom smile and saying I love you. Watching her Do the "sit and stare" out the window for 15 min. But suddenly telling me about some old memory with her grandma. Sometimes after hearing the same stories a 1000 times, viola! I learn a whole new story about her past. These are the nice things. Once a few years ago my sister was visiting and we took mom out to drive around. We were in our big park that is surrounded by water in our little town. Our Mama popped out "right around here by the little waterfall is where your Daddy proposed to me". Yep, she remembered the car, clothes,everything. Those moments you get before they are gone are priceless. My MIL came to our farm from the rest home. She was only here about 1 month and then we had hospice. It was wild and crazy hard but now a year later my husband and I are so glad we did that. We all do the best we can and we are the ones who will end up with the peaceful hearts when it's over. Caregiving is love.
I should have added that this is not pleasant to me. It's very hard, and draining. What the good side is in my opinion, is that I'm helping my mother and providing a life for her that she enjoys. It's teaching me that I'm cabable of being as unselfish as I ever have been. It's like finals week in college. You get through it and you are stronger for it. I think we as care givers need to find positives in our situations.
this is by far the most touching and loving question that I have read on this site so far. I try to give my input in all of the questions good and bad but this one has touched me deeply. the love the memories the stories the good and bad is all worth it to help someone especially a loved one move forward in a totally different direction in life knowing they are not alone. I care for mom dad and husband and wouldn't give not one of them up . im in it till the end and loving every minute of it. thank you for this question, it opened my heart even more than it was already.....
Thank you to everybody who has posted. It isn't easy being a caregiver, but it does have its good points.

I figure there's so much negativity that it's even more important to think about the good things.

As for me, we have been trying to write down as much as we can remember into a journal before it's forgotten completely because there's too much already forgotten and I'm recording current things like the holidays or even just little events.

I truly hope others post good things too because there's so much good even in the little things that happen each day.

For anyone who is ready this, try to find the good, not only in caregiving but in everything. Life is way too short.
Thank you Roger! Caregiving can be so frustrating, but hearing my Mom laugh at a private joke between us and having her tell me that she loves me, is all I really need now.

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