My significant other just had a Hemorrhagic stroke we have been together for 3 years and living together for 6 months. We were living as partners husband and wife & took care of thing by dividing them up 50-50. Now the family has stepped in and told me I am not family and I have no say in the bills or home mortgage or what goes on in the house. Her 24 year old son has been living with her for 7 months and he is rude verbally abuses his mother and makes her support him and well as other family members. He does go to college for about 20 hours a week. He expects for us to cook, clean, and do whatever else he needs. Now the my parnter is coming home soon I have to thought of making the son get a job and start paying for his own stuff instead of making his mother, but the family disagrees with me so they are going to use whatever they can to pay for his schooling. I beleive this is finaccial abuse Is there anywhere I can go to get advice about this matter?

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We are both 55 years old and at this present time my partner can't really make good decisions. I really have to think and certainly get couseling with this. I beleive talking with people who have or know what this is like. My way of thinking is fact based. I just take todays facts and then make a decision. Although I have a lot of hope that she will recover completely I know it is not a certain thing. I guess what I am trying to say that my reasoning is "If she recovers" not "When she recovers" Because I have to think like that because I need to know that I can do this and what I am really getting into as the primary caregiver. But the family is thinking along the lines of "When she recovers". They seem to believe that is if she does her medicine (rehab) this will all go away. They get upset with me because my way of thinking. I work from home and right now I won't have time to do it. If she improves as time goes on maybe I can get back to it. Seems I am not part of the family until the family needs something that they don't want to do, Everyones life will be affected by this in some manner or to certain degrees, Not one of them is changing anything in there life as in work, school, living or making time to help. I feel like it is crimping their style they seems to not understand how it affects mine. I may be over the top with thinking like this but I beleive at this present time my life is on hold and has to be controled by the condition of my partner. I am not complaining at all I love my partner very deeply! I know I don't have to take this on and I haven't had thoughts of not doing this until about a week ago when I realized the added stress that the family will place on this situation. Sorry for rambling and it came out in bits and pieces

I am so sorry for the distress this situation must be causing you. I think you need to see a lawyer. Unmarried couple can take many steps to ensure their roles in the event one of them becomes incapacitated, such as setting up mutual power of attorney, health care proxey, etc. If you have not taken such steps things may be harder, but don't give up until you have seen an attorney.

Is your partner able to make decisions at this point?

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