Parents say they want help but really don't.

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My dad is in a nursing home for rehab following hip surgery, my mom has some dementia. We're doing all we can to get to Dad a couple of times a day (I have an 8 year old and 13 year old, and my husband and I both work), help Mom with medicine, alarm clock, dinner, etc. in the evenings. She seems to be ok at home overnight - she can use the phone, work the tv, and isn't trying to cook or anything. She isn't a fall risk. She spends the day with Dad. I think I am just frustrated because I get mixed messages from each of them about what they need/want on all kinds of things each day. One will call and tell me I need to do something for one of them, I rearrange things to make it happen and later they say I didn't need to do it at all. There are some family dynamics issues; they keep telling my brother not to come see them, and now my brother isn't communicating with me either.

I realize I just need to be patient with them (and myself) as we try to figure out how to move forward; their world is changing with Dad's ability to take care of himself changing, and my Mom's abilities changing too. I appreciate what I see on this site, people are so supportive of each other. I'm trying to learn how to handle things as Mom's dementia progresses, etc. I think there are so many wonderful people dealing with such difficult things, this probably does seem so minute. I might not should have put anything up, some days I just feel such a mix of emotions......

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