Parent chooses not to remember my attempts to help.
I've travelled with my family for years following the military traditional way of life. One assignment took me to a state that the parent visited and then delcared she did not want to move to. Every phone call she would mention how she wanted me to move back to her state. At one point I offered a suggestion to sublet her regular apartment while she "tried" an assisted living facility. I said it would help me to move to a place I was familiar with in that town because I had to find placements for my kids in school. It was during the school year. One cannot just "yank" kids out of school. This was not a move sponsored by a military assignment, so no helps in place there for us. I told her if I could just have a few months subletting (and paying my way) then I could find a new place if she did not like the Asst Living place, then she could have her original apt back and I would've found a new place for the family by then. My spouse was thinking at the time that he would retire @ 20 yr mark. She said "no" right off the bat and I was left with no other workable idea. So, I let the subject drop, and continued on living in another state. I just completed my weekly (suggested by a counselor) phone call. She said that I'd told her we would all move back to that state, that town, when my spouse was at 20 yrs. She said it in a way that was designed to make me feel guilty as if I'd broken a promise to her. I was flabbergasted and angry -- I suggested an idea that would've worked. I just needed a place to know I could move to to get the family situated for the kids, then if I had them set then I could find a job and be looking for job opportunities for my spouse after active-duty. It seems logical to me and her demands -- she is just bored and I cannot help that! She is afraid of "out there" and just wants to be entertained. We've offered to help her move here but she refuses. I am so tired of being the only child with the "duty" and never seeming to do it right. I make a lot of trips out there. She is excited for the first few minutes, then toddles off to her room (for a drink) or tunes on the tv and I'm left to sit there and watch her watch the tv. She does not know what she wants and I'm tired of having my "chain" jerked. Why won't she acknowledge that I've tried and offered to do it her way but she doesn't want that either? Help! Thoughts???? What can I say to her? What is a good comeback reply?