The hurt and pain of moving a loved one to a facility.
My 72-year old mother in law has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's and it's become apparent that she is no longer safe or capable of living on her own. My husband and I, along with his siblings, have found a lovely care center for her which will be close to us (she presently lives in a very remote rural community). This weekend we will be going to her hometown to not only tell her that she can no longer live by herself, independently, but to also move her and her things to her new "home." She has lived in her hometown since birth and raised her family there as well. She lives in the only home that she and her husband shared (he passed away 18+ years ago) and she still has friends from her school days that live in town as well. She's always been very independent but with the disease she has become increasingly aggitated as "luxuries" such as driving her own car relinquishing her volunteer bookkeeping position at the local church, or even baking cookies have been taken away from her for safety issues. Her mother had Alzheimer's as well, and before my mother in law was sick she made the family promise to take care of her and provide her with proper treatment and supervision should she ever fall to the disease....but now that she's ill herself she doesn't understand she's sick or why she can't drive, bake or help do the church's books anymore. My question is this....how do we approach her and let her know that we think it is in her best interest, health and safety to move her from the only life, home and people she's ever known and place her into unfamiliar surroundings with unfamiliar people. Any advice on how others have handled the situation would be greatly appreciated...although I know it's unique for each individual and family. My heart is just aching over the pain and confusion, and certain anger that she will express and experience.