New to Caregiving and am completely overwhelmed.

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My father had a massive stroke back in August, and has been in longterm care with a nursing facility up until Dec. 13th when he was released and sent home.

He requires 24 hour care, he is unable to walk, his left side is completely paralyzed. We have rehab people who show up 3 times a week, and an aid shows up and handles his personal hygene.

I do everything else, alone, without let up. I need relief. I need advice on who I can contact to see about getting compensated, because of the care he requires, I cannot work outside of the home.

I am completely overwhelmed.


It depends on what state you are in, but there may be help for you through your state agencies. I also wonder why he couldn't have stayed in the nursing facility since he requires such heavy care. Is he a veteran? If so, the VA may be able to help you as well.
Greyson, is he eligible for 24 hour-at-home care? I know this can be a timely process in paperwork and assessments, but it sure sounds like it's needed in his case. I agree with Sybjp1 about contacting your state agencies of care for the aging and seeing what is available in father's situation. I wish you the best and keep coming back to update us for there are many like you who are new to caregiving.
Last week at the doctors office, I informed the Nurse Practitioner that dad's stools were 90% loose....they recommend to me some fiber stuff over the counter. Cause he's perscribed some medicine to treat it, though I have no idea how to administer "as needed" when its seems to be always needed.....and if I give it to him all the time, than he doesn't go for days and days, and I think maybe Im not doing something right, so I stop....and at 1 in the morning he has an explosion in the bed

*sigh* and i have to wake up and clean him and it up

its really very frustrating
Oh Greyson......I'm experiencing the very same frustration (gagging at the thought). AS for the "as needed", I've just been monitoring her time of day and what she's eating. Mom was diagnosed with Diverticulosis Spams which in her case, she goes fine for a few weeks and then build up for a few days and just like described, "explosion". Then she'll be fine for a few more days and we get to start all over again. (sighs) I know, it's not a place I want to be either. Hang in there and get out and get some fresh air and breathe deeply for about 3 minutes. Keep in touch. Blessings to you, Rainbow Painter
How do I convince him to wear a diaper when we are gonna be in public? So we dont have accidents, that might be rather embarrassing to him, so far we have been lucky, bit I suspect that that's not always gonna be the case.

My latest offer, was to wear them too...I really would, it doesn't bother me all that much.
Yep, been there done that one. I totally understand about keeping their dignity in tack, believe me. Yes, I wore them......didn't like it, but did it.

Then I took all of Mom's undies out her drawer and put them in a bag and hid them from her and explained the reason why I was removing her underwear and replaced them with the Depends.

This was done at night time, just as I got her ready for bed. She didn't even ask me where her undies were the next morning....she just put on the Depends.
OH and trust really don't want an mishap of uncontrollable bowls in the car. I've dealt with that as well. I will never forget that day. Best of luck, sometimes we just have to take the bull by the horns and ride out the storms. Things will eventually become habit and the new way will be come the old way again.
Had an explosion in the car already. It was a cold day, I cranked up the heat, and cracked a window..

He can't really get to a drawer all that easily, I pretty much set out his under garments.

Tomorrow will be his first Wal-mart experience since the stroke....I PRAY for no accidents.
I usually keep a container of diaper wipes, like for babies and a change of clothes with a plastic bag for the soiled laundry, in the car when we have to take Mom out to her appointments or grocery shopping. I also keep air freshener in the car to spray, the disinfectant type. I hope all goes well for you and your dad tomorrow.

Greyson, I also want to commend you for asking and responding here on such a delicate matter, but hopefully this post will not only ease your mind, but also those of others who just don't know quite how to ask or handle such matters and maybe they too will not feel so alone or helpless in such a sensitive situation.

I wish you and your dad a good day on your first outing. Keep in touch, Rainbow Painter
Well Janet, we are here to support one another. Nothing about the caring for the loved one should be considered taboo.

I'll bring some extra clothing incase of disaster. I will have to purchase some better spray. I have gloves and white masks, both I have to wear, or I get severely grossed out.

I have the wipes too, and I go through a bunch of them after an accident.

He's on medication that treats what your mom has, his late older sister had it bad.

Keep the conversation going (or start a new one)

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