Overwhelmed and want my Dad back!
My father (73 y/o) had scheduled back surgery 5 weeks ago, and is currently in a rehab center. However, he is not making any physical progress, mostly (I think) because his mental condition has declined severely. For weeks, numerous doctors, psychiatrists, specialists have said that it is "Hospital Delirium" and should clear. But it has gotten worse. Lab tests are good, MRI of brain was clear, he has been treated for UTI with antibiotics, and is NOT on any narcotics or mind-altering medications. He's been through a lot over the last couple of years ... my mom (his wife of 48 years) died of breast cancer 9 months ago, so doctors/we felt that in addition to being depressed over mom dying, the unfamiliarity of hospital room, then rehab, then back to hospital (had to have a second emergency surgery about 3 weeks ago to relieve a hematoma at surgical site), and general stress of what he has been through has contributed to his "delirium." Before the surgery, his mind was sharp as a tack, and now, 5 weeks later, he doesn't know where he is, he tries to get out of bed (he can't walk) and demanding he needs to drive himself home. He has been back and forth to the ER (which is on same campus as rehab) several times for blood pressure issues, a fall out of his bed (no serious injuries, thank God), and the hematoma. Every once in a while, he will carry on a somewhat lucid conversation with me or other friends/family, but every day gets foggier and foggier. I am so frustrated, angry, anxious, worried and sad. It just wasn't supposed to be this way.
I live 2 hours away from him, am married with a 10 year-old daughter. I have a part-time job, which isn't necessarily for financial reasons. I am riddled with guilt, and feel so overwhelmed. I feel like I should be there with him ... but then feel like I should be here with my husband and daughter. The anxiety is excruciating to me. I feel like I'm being pulled in several directions.
I have a sister who lives 7 hours away from Dad. She comes when she can, but she has 4 children, and obviously it's not as easy for her to just scoot over for a quick visit. My aunt and uncle (mom's sister and bro-in-law) live in the same city as Dad, so they check on him ... but I just feel so guilty for not being there. I know he wants me there, even though I'm not sure how much he actually processes when I am there.
I feel so hopeless, and see no end in sight for any of this ..... anyone know how I feel?