Our life, our choice?
I found this group earlier this year when I was in complete desperation and unhappiness, having just moved in as co-caretaker of my mother who has middle stage Alzheimer's. It was partly a financial decision as well as one of my elderly father needing some help and time off.
Well, shortly after I entered this quagmire, I found myself becoming more and more miserable, more depressed and gaining weight from all the stress. Something had to give.
I re-evaluated my decision and decided that I would move nearby (about 1 mile away) which would give me some privacy, yet be able to help at a moments notice if needed.
It was the best decision ever. The depression has lifted, I love my privacy and my new place. It's lots smaller than I have had but what cost is happiness?
Yes, I felt guilty. But I was sacrificing myself for my mother and after she passes one day I would have been left as an empty shell. Was that fair to myself or my own children?
As I read the sad stories here, it breaks my heart. Many people are indeed sacrificing themselves for their parent, some at great personal and emotional cost. There has to be another way. There just has to.
I'm no longer calling myself Cinderella. I'm now a butterfly. I've emerged from that horrible situation stronger and changed. Sometimes you have to know when to leave a situation for your own good, no matter how difficult. It's our life, really and in the end no one is there to hand out a medal for self-destruction.
For those still living in horrible situations of emotional abuse (and sometimes physical), I ask you to please re-evaluate why you are doing this and to try to find some other way.
God bless you all today. I've walked in your shoes and know its not easy. You are in my thoughts.