Is it only women that are doing the caregiving or is it only women that post?

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I have been following this site for the last few years and it has been a great place to get information, ideas and support. I love that you can post about anything and no one is really judgmental. A couple of years ago, it seemed that there were a number of men that were involved in taking care of elderly parents - but it appears that is mostly women that are doing the heavy lifting. Is it that only women want to share their stories or is it that only women have these stories. Years ago, my dad's mom was very ill and in a nursing home and the nurse kept asking - doesn't she have any daughters? I thought it odd - they didn't ask doesn't she have any other children. This was at least 30 years ago - and I have a feeling it hasn't changed much. Am I off base - or is the expectation that the daughter is the responsible child for taking care of parents?


elder care might have at one time been dominated by women but in the workplace today a lot of men are in construction and have flexible self employment status . ill bet there are a lot of men out there caregiving for elders . in our 50 ' s and 60 ' s , many of the rural men i know dont get on line for any reason so you wont hear from them much . theyre trucks get 40 rods to the hogshead and thats the way they likes it .. i have a male friend only a mile away who cared for his mother till a stroke put her in nh and cared for his dad until just now . hes become a candidate for nh because - dialasys - feeding tube - simply needs 3 shifts of care .
The majority of hands-on caregivers are still women, but there are many men who do it. Even more men provide financial support and assistance to parents who don't live with them. We probably don't hear from men as much on here because men don't tend to be as chatty as women. Women's minds are working all the time, like a hamster in a wheel. Men are actually capable to thinking nothing at all -- a concept that is hard to grasp for women. Thinking about this, it isn't strange that women write more in a group like this.

Usually I don't know if a new person writing is male or female. We may have a lot more men here than we realize.
I believe the vast majority of Caregivers are women because of the stereotype that women cared for their children so naturally they should be able to care for their elderly parents. Gosh, women are use to spoon-feeding and cleaning up diapers.... [sigh].

As most of us know, caring for the elderly cannot be compared to caring for children. Children eventually learn to do things for themselves, the elderly stop learning how to do those thing. Plus, those who had children were usually in their 20-30's.... not in their 50's and 60's.... huge difference in energy levels.

The empty nest is once again full.

" Men are actually capable to thinking nothing at all "
never heard of such a thing jesse . generally men fight wars , repair machines and build the buildings in our society . that would be hard to achieve if there were only crickets playing fiddles inside our heads . in my younger years i sat around thinking about the long run , big picture , etc while ex wifey sat around thinking about how she had an atm in her pants and could be the life of the party somewhere if only she werent burdened with a family and husband .
That wasn't an insult at all. I remember reading something a few times about when a woman asks a man what he's thinking and he says "Nothing" that he is telling the truth. Men aren't supposed to have their hamster running in the wheel at all times. I was thinking it would be nice to have a mind that was quiet occasionally.
I wish I had an off switch! Just cannot seem to stop the thinking!
gladimhere ,
that was my first thought also . i totally " get " jesse's quip , but my mind never stops .
i was having a discussion a few days ago with two quite well off , men , customers . in listening to their various schemes of a new home or remodeling a new home , it became apparent to me that they , like most people , are scared to death of getting all caught up on things and having nothing to strive for .
id melt down in a week , mentally , if i didnt have some kind of challenge .
I'm involved with some local caregiver groups and I'll say that, while it's not just women, here's what I've observed in my locality:
Men and women taking care of their spouse seems pretty equally split.
Women taking care of mom/dad/sibling is the huge majority, but there I do occasionally (rarely?) run across a man doing it.

As for this site, I've noticed a few men, but not sure if the split is similar to what I see in my locality.
As a comment on JessieBelle's quip, there's a cartoon called JumpStart and, quite a few years ago, it shows the wife thinking lots of things, the husband thinking nothing, the wife turns to the husband and asks, "what are you thinking," to which he says, "nothing." She starts to think about how he never shares his thoughts with her, he returns to thinking nothing.

My husband cut this out and gave it to me because it's reversed with us - sometimes I just chill out and look out the window at the changing colors or something and, for many years, he thought I was just being guarded when I said I was thinking about nothing - took him a long time to realize I really meant it.

It makes me laugh - pretty funny, actually. However, as for whether one gender really does this more than the other, have not been interested-enough to see if there are any research studies on this to know what the statistical standard distribution would be on this topic.
In my world, I noticed if a male does something that is a stereotypical chore, he never stops bragging about it. Good heavens, a chore is a chore, one doesn't need a parade.

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