I am the only child drowning.
I was curious if there was other only children caregivers out there like myself that felt like they are drowning? I'm an only child, my mom passed in 2010 from ovarian cancer, I myself have had a chronic illness since age 17 (I'm now 42) that is "currently in remission) I am not married & have no children. My closest family lives 2 1/2 hrs away. She tries, but has her own problems (husband, son, financial issues)... Other than her I have no one. The othet closest relative is in Wisconsin & I am in Alabama. My dad has early onset dementia & severe back problems & is as stubborn as a mule. And as I said I have health issues of my own... but compared to him they are way on the back burner (always with a fear that I will relapse from stress). We live in a house that is too large for me to manage (but moving is not an option), I am in charge of EVERY THING (bills, home maintenance, cleaning, his meds, his care, his chauffeur everwhere) & there are days I feel like I'm drowning... And the last "so called friend" that was going to help me out with some things, literally broke in to my home while my dad, myself & the realative I spoke of went out of town for ME TO HAVE SURGERY... I let her live in my home for a month, we had a falling out & I came home to a find a break in. I'm having trust issues with Everyone... a friend before that stole money I loaned her so she would get thrown out in the street & then split. I have no close friends & feel alienated. Growing up my parents & I moved around because of my dad's job... so we never really had a network of friends. I feel like the pressure is weighing down on me like a ton of bricks. I don't feel like I don't all the right things for my dad, a constant guilt trip on myself... I just feel lost. I will have the best intentions & they seem to crumble. Anyone else out there feel similar?