I am the only child trying to care for narcissistic and viscous only child mother.
I am a 60 year old only child daughter. My mother is in physical declining health due to osteoarthritis and shoulder and knee issues. Her vitals are amazing. Always good. Her attitude and disposition towards me her sole relative, is highly disturbing to my family and close friends. My husband and I are strong Christians and I believe it is my responsibility as her daughter to take care of her. She lives in her own home but has caregivers who take care of her ADLs. If she misplaces something, she calls me continuously telling me the caregiver took it. If she doesn't like something, whether something her doctor says or a medication she is taking, she verbally abuses me. My health is NOT GOOD, I am diabetic, HBP and have been fighting lung infections for 2 months and my husband is visually impaired. She simply does not care. Her only concern is what I am going to do for her and how fast I am going to do it. My doctor is going to put me in the hospital for the infection and the only question she had was who is going to be here for me while you are sick or if you die? She never asked it I am getting better, how I feel, she truly does not care. Her last full time caregiver just quit for the second time due to saying my mother didn't trust her, and I was prejudice due to her race. I was so hurt. Now my mother blames me for her leaving, not remembering all the times she accused her of stealing to me, being disrespectful towards her or just flat out refusing to do a simple task. I did not dismiss the caregiver, I only accepted her resignation. Now, as always, it is my fault. My mothers highly trained, proven track record, part time caregiver stepped up to the plate to take care of her in place of the caregiver who left and my mother will not let her do anything. I am paying a fortune for ADLs and meal prep and my mother will not let her touch the stove, the washer or any other appliance in the home. The property is in a trust and I am the trustee but I do not want to be hateful or disrespectful to my mother. I told her she would have to give the caregiver a chance to do her job or she would not be able to stay in the home herself but would need to move to a care facility for her own safety. I became the DEVIL to her. I was the worse daughter a person could ever have, I was going straight to hell. Please help me, I do everything for my mother, her bills, her taxes, her grocery shopping, her doctors, her appointments, her medication, her benefits, EVERYTHING. I am on the brink of a total breakdown.