It's funny how quickly what was once unthinkable becomes the new normal!

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I was telling the nurse that mom had a good night last night, she only woke up every two hours :) and she just gave me a looong look. I hardly even flinch any more when dealing with her incontinence and toileting issues. The newest one is calling my name over and over, that's been going on for a few weeks. It still gets on my nerves but I'm adapting. What changes have been hardest for you all to adapt to?


There is no Normal. There is Typical, Average, Median, Mean, Usual, Standard, etc. All of these are statistical impressions that have nothing to do with Reality.
I guess 'normal' to me means 'surrender'. Surrendering to whatever is at the moment... trying not to look in the past. It also means (to me) utter patience and unconditional love (at it's highest peak). Good question and nice to hear from others who are striving to cope and find acceptance and some happiness in this miracle we call life. Thank you for posing this question. Blessings to all...
I know exactly what you mean, cwillie. Most things around here are new normal. My mother is up and down all day and night, going to and from the bathroom. I am able to tune out the sounds unless I hear a huge thump that sends me into emergency mode. Conversations are the same each day and are quoted almost word for word about a few events that happened in her life. I don't even try to talk about me, because she just reverts to talking about her old memories. I feel much compassion for her, because she is trying to converse in the only way she knows. I feel sympathy for myself, because I am not able to talk to her. I can only listen.

There is so much that is new. Not all is bad. Sometimes the new normal means that they are nicer than they were in the past. That makes things easier. Old-Ma could be as mean as a bear.
This is a bit off subject, but I've found the so-called "experts" (those actually working on the high-dollar memory care unit like where I'd put mom until recently) seem shocked by the daily unexpected behavior of a patient like my mom (pretty much a stage 6). Even her own doctor and office nurse seem surprised at Alzheimer's behaviors. A nurse caring for mom one night actually called me and said mom had had a "delusional episode." Duh. We (my brother, sister and I) decided to go for a contract for me to care for mom at home. Long story short, I'm out of work as a medical transcriber since December, tried a very short stint working as an STNA at a local nursing home, was told after 3 days there that I'd be bumped by another employee to a 12-hour shift I never bargained for, felt bad about placing mom in the first place, and thought h*ll, I might as well bring her back home to our "normal," which is something different every day and night but doesn't shake me up so much anymore. At least, I can now be compensated and pay my bills this way, and we save about $5000 per month (the memory unit charged $7500 monthly for God knows what). While there for that short period, her brand new pair of shoes, some new pajamas and other items of clothing that had been labeled got "lost." No matter how nice these places are, there are problems, not enough workers, not enough security, etc. I think the industry is a mess but not downing the good honest workers there. Anyway, mom doesn't even remember being on that unit, so I guess not much harm done in the long run. She seems happier, and I feel better.

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