I am a stay at home dad/ retired husband. We have been taking care of my mother in law for 8-9 years. She is 94 and not doing well. My wife works and is the sole provider at this point, we were both engineers but it was in our best interest for her to work and me to take care of things. Anyway, I can't handle this anymore, she can't take care of herself anymore and yet my wife seems to ignore the issue. She's a great woman don't get me wrong, but she just isn't here. If her mother. Can get to the dinner then everyone is fine. The problem is things get bad like today, she doesn't know who I am, doesn't take her meds can't find her clothes and can't get dressed properly, I can't do this stuff. I call my wife and she starts with well I cleaned her clothes last night and I'm like great well your not here to dress her. My wife has her job to me that would be like a lifeline. my only lifeline is her and my son and I'm afraid of losing both. the other siblings do next to nothing. This is my fault because after her husband died I didn't want her to stay in a home so I built and addition and moved her in with us. My wife said I could say no then. apparently I can't say no now. I'm afraid this may break us, it's already done a great deal of damage to me. End of my rope. I am 54 and feel like I'm 70, I have arthritis in my knees/hands and pain management for my back. I still cook, clean, take care of the yard etc. but I just can't take it anymore.