OCD, disabled and crazy Mom.

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Me and my mother have always lived in the same home. Before it was her home but once I got older I started paying bills and bought my home. My mom has always been a neat freak as far back as j can remember. But the older she gets the worse it is she doesn't me to have visitors over and if I do she will act nice but as soon as they are gone start complaining that so and so isn't really you friend I hate company. She used to clean non stop but she has diabetes and has lost 6 finger tips, three toes and part of her foot so she can't do much now and this just makes it worse for me and my kids 11 and 8 she thinks or treats us like puppets always going on and on about you don't clean this, or your gonna get the police called because we didn't bring the garbage can from the road, or my personal fav is when I eat leftovers from day before she will sit at the table and makes faces like how can you eat that your gonna get food poisoning and make horrible faces and pretend to nauseated. This woman is my mom but at same time my enemy I feel like I have to walk on eggshells in my own home. Today she was outside messing around supposedly cleaning she threw away two pairs of my sandals because she deemed them dirty beyond cleaning (had them for a month) and they were not dirty she just didn't like the fact that they were on the porch outside. She is 62 and can do most thing on her own but can't afford to live on her own and I would never kick her out I just needed to vent I feel my boyfriend and friends are tired of hearing same stuff all the time. Sometimes I wish she would move out like she claims she wants to buy never does, she has moved out buy always comes back after about a month says it because of grandkids but they secretly tell me them like it better when she's gone cause she is always yelling at them to do things for her and goes psycho when they don't answer. Once she called my daughter a whore because she had some glasses on that are fake reading glasses and she refused to apologize. I go her them if she didn't made me choose she would be gone real quick cause my kids come first.
Not really searching for a solution but geez feel good to vent I don't know if I can handle her when gets the point where she will need more that driving to doctors appointments, medicine pickups and help with dressing sometimes. I can't understand now why
Why some many choose nursing homes and assisted living. Elders can wear a normal happy person down in no time I used to be care free now I have take anti depressants and anxiety medicine to be able to concentrate.
Anyways that's for listening to my rant.


Sorry for all the typos using cell phone. God forbid I get on am actually computer I'd be called lazy despite house being spotless.
I know you aren't going to get her to move, but I do think you have to consider your children. I'm thinking that pretty soon they will dread to come home if your mother doesn't change. I would worry that Mom would drive the kids away. She is only 62 and can behave herself. It sounds like you need to come to a meeting of minds. If she isn't able to be more pleasant, then she can be unpleasant somewhere else. It's not just you her behavior is affecting.

I remember being a teenager. My home was so stressful that I started staying away as much as possible. Some nights I started not coming home at all -- whatever it took to avoid walking on eggshells all the time. Then I moved out as fast as I could. I think back on how much better my life may have gone if my home life was not so stressful. Kids need to feel loved and secure in their own home, not tiptoe around trying not to offend someone. It is something important to consider. We often give our parents way too much power, trying to respect them. I would try to make sure that she didn't have so much power that she drove the kids away.
Good lord ... this woman is 62! She may be with you another 35 years. Your children will be having grandchildren before she is gone, and they will never have had a "normal" childhood. There grandma is always scolding and their mother has to take medicine to concentrate. Is this really how you want to continue?

But I'm glad having a place to vent helps you. Vent away!
I think it's grandma who needs the antidepressants. I would get her to a psychiatrist.

She's 62. I'm 62. I have a friend my age who is wheelchair - bound and on a ventilator. She goes to work everyday. What sort of prosthesis does your mom have for her foot? Has she gotten OT and PT to help her cope with the loss of her digits?

There is an organization called Good Temps that is part of Goodwill. They train and hire folks with disabilities. Your mom should give them a call.
boop, I think we have a child/adult dynamic playing here since you all are under the same roof. Your Mom is being the "parent" and she sees you as the "child". I think that is pretty common in this type of situation.

Look around for senior housing where depending on Mom's income, is how much her rent will be. She really needs to be around people of her own age group. From your post, apparently your Mom has moved out before... where did she go for a month?

Your children's Grandmother should be someone they want to be around, fun loving, hugs, etc. not someone who is always barking at them.

Keep the conversation going (or start a new one)

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