Watching the nursing home take it all! What happened to the American Dream?

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I can't bare to watch anymore....If I may vent,
From watching the nurcing homes on how they do things is amazing, how they all get away with taking elderlies assets without a finger pointing into their direction. A person works and saves all their life just for a nurcing home to take it all is sad to watch.
I placed my 88 yr old aunt in a nurcing home about 6 months ago.At the beginning the nurcing home told me full pay will be $8,000 per month. I was shocked of the cost.A few months went bye, I decided to look at my aunts bank account. Lord behold the nurcing home was taking $12,000 not $8,000 as I was told at the beginning. The nurcing home told me it was because,of extras as depends and such is why it is $4,000 more then what I was quoted.I thought this was too much for them to be taking.I then asked for a printout(invoice) from the nurcing home.Now they say she may have over paid.Requires a attorney to look into this now.Just shows how nurcing homes rip ya off if your not watching them.In the past 8 months the nurcing home took my aunt's life savings of $50,000.And now going after her home and any other assets they can suck.
From seeing and watching the nurcing home suck all assets and can't do a thing about it hurts me deeply. I don't see how these people could sleep at nite knowing what they are doing to the elderly.
If you think you will have enough to afford retirement when you get old? Think again! You better have Millions stashed away in a hole in the ground for the thought of retirement. Because, $100,000 wont last long after a nurcing home gets their claws into it.yr tops if your lucky.
My venting thought. Enjoy!


What people would do well to remember is that people save all of their lives for a rainy day. This is especially true of my parents' generation. Don't know what younger folks save for. Or if they even SAVE. Ha!

Anyhow, back to the rainy day analogy. They saved all their lives for it -- and when it starts pouring outside, they (and their families) simply have to be prepared to spend it.

My question is this: Why is the nursing home not presenting a bill each and every month that someone is checking? That's big-time fail, in my opinion. Somebody ought to be your aunt's advocate and double check that she's not being ripped off.

I doubt "the nursing home" is going after her home. That would be Medicaid. She may be out of money, and the nursing home made application on her behalf. And, yes, her home will have to go before taxpayers start paying her bills.
Dogabone, Is she not getting any payments from medicare? Not even for her meds?

I believe that my mother pays $150 a day at her NH, so that is $4500/mo. So, 8 months would be $36,000. But, what else is she going to do with her money? It is for her care. And it is mother's money. I certainly can not take care of her at home. She is 95. But, she is happy with her care. That is what is important.

Are you POA? I am not, because I am out of state. Her POA would be the one with the information about her finances. Good luck. I can tell you are under stress. Keep posting.
In response to Chicago1954,
The nurcing home told me it will be $8,000 per month.I am my Aunt's DPOA.Keep in mind this is my Aunt.Not my Mother.My wife and I can't care for my Aunt.We thought about it for a long time and we just couldn't do it.If this was my Mother yes I would of had no other choice but,too do so.I was asked by the attorney if I was willing to care for my aunt.The main question that I was asked was would you be willing to wipe her butt?No way could I do that.The wife & I just don't have the time for the wiping.As I stated I am her POA.I looked over her account and found that the nurcing home took over $12,000 last month.The nurcing home will find any excuse of funds they take.POA did me in I will say.I will never be a POA again in my life time that is for sure.As of your math above that's at $4500 not $8,000 per month.Medicare stops paying after 21 days.After 21 days becomes 80/20.If the elderly stops helping them self ,givesup or what ever it becomes full pay.The nurcing home said my aunt is no longer working with them so now she is full pay.Said it is.I was told full pay will be $8000.not $12000 as they are doing.I have a attorney looking into this as we speak.You say your not a POA.Good for you.Don't ever become a POA.It isn't worth the wasted time.
My mom is in a nh in Connecticut. She is in a semi-private room. The cost is $15000 per month. Private pay. When she runs out of her own monies, Medicaid will kick in. I grew up with parents who told us , " it's our money, and will be spent by us, for us". We never had any expectation that there would be any leftovers. It's the only sane way to live. To wait around for an inheritance is to live like a vulture...I've seen folks do it and it's not pretty.
I understand your frustration dogabone. People deprive themselves to save so they and their spouse will not end up destitute in their last years. A nursing home can deplete a lifetime of spending in such a short time. Statistically more than half the people who go into a nursing home die in just over a years time. Approx 1/3 remain over three years and some people live in nursing homes for much longer. I don't see that as a rainy day.

Yes Medicare does kick in after the money and assets are liquidated but Medicare does not cover all of a persons needs. I worked in nursing homes for a number of years and there were residents who could not even afford a new sweater if they needed one. The tiny allowance that most residents are allotted is a joke. Just because a person is confined to a nursing home does not mean they should not have the dignity of making purchases with their own money. My grandmother loved to crochet and she could not even afford yarn when she was in the home. The family brought her what she wanted but she found that humiliating. Sure the nursing home provides base necessities but so does prison. Is that what people scrimp and save for their whole lives?

My burning question is this. If a nursing home can charge $12,000 a month then why is it so difficult for a family member to be fairly compensated for providing much better care? I wonder how many families would be able to keep their elders out of nursing homes if they did not have to choose between working for a living and providing care.

I don't want or expect anything from my parents when go. I would however like to see them use the assets they have now to make their last years comfortable. If one of them outlives the other (likely) I don't want my remaining parent left with nothing (my aunt is facing this). They worked their fingers to the bone all their lives. They deserve better than bare subsistence.
Let's look at it this way. We should save and pay for our care in our old age. However, in America, these "for profit and even not for profit" businesses are taking advantage of us. The hospitals are doing the same. It is all about business. Nothing else. Profits first, people somewhere down the line. I have two daughters who are nurses. They have seen charges for simple things quadruple or more than what you pay at the drug store. This is the free market, plain and simple. They have a service to provide and that is what they charge. And as long as Medicaid pays the exorbitant costs, they will continue to charge them.

I had a neighbor who is CEO of a visiting nurses business. They are funded mostly by Medicaid and private pay. The waste, extravagances, and Hugh salaries going to his family are disgraceful. This is a non profit business. So far no one questions him. His friends are on the Board of Directors and he continues to take vacations in Europe and live like a king in a multimillion dollar home. And does he deserve or work hard for this? No.

This is what is going on all over America.
Lets face it life is not fair.
Who do you expect to pay for a loved ones nursing home car?.
Most people will not have the funds to pay $4-8K per month and those that do stay home with private caregivers.
i also agree that the personal allowance allowd for each medicaid recipient is insufficient. That is what occupational therapy is for they provide the equipment for patients to do crafts etc. the nursing homes also often do fundraisers to provide funds for patients entertainment.
As I said life is not fair and the whole health care system needs to be overhauled But it is also not fair to expect the taxpayer to foot the bill for everything especially when they can't afford their own medications. We pay our taxes and support our selves but one of my newly prescribed inhalers costs $600 a month and before the donut hole i have a copay of $100 for something that the ingredients cost pennies. The manufacturers have changde the delivery system and were able to get a new patent so ask your self what is fair and what has to be done to change the system.
As long as Medicare, insurance, and even helpless individuals pay the prices for medications, they will charge these prices. The problem is people need health care. It is not like going out and buying socks. If the socks cost too much, you don't buy them, then the costs drops and someone comes along with a great sock cheap. We have little or no protection against the greed that is rampant in this country. Sorry to sound like a liberal nut case because I am not. But the healthcare situation is out of control!
I really think that they should find a way to compensate family caregivers fairly. I believe this would save the taxpayers a bundle AND allow the elderly to remain solvent longer. I understand there would be a need for oversight both financially and for quality of care but they do that for nursing homes so they can do that for families.

We have a number of people in our town who are caregivers for people with mental disorders. They provide a home and physical care for modest pay, I think it's around $18,000 per year. Many of the residents attend a day program (transportation is provided) and they have clothing/misc allowances. Their health costs are covered as well. I believe there are provisions for food but not sure. Total strangers get paid for care but not the families of these folks. The same with our elderly. Medicare forks over billions for nursing home care which ends up making private owners and CEOs very wealthy but virtually nothing for families. If Medicare gave $18,000 a year for a family to provide care instead of $50,000 or more to a nursing home I'm thinking the savings would be significant. Call me crazy.
I completely agree with you. At the VERY least, the loved one him/herself ought to be able to compensate their caregiver without the rigorous restrictions placed on family caregiving imposed by Medicaid.

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