I keep seeing the advice...put him/her in a nursing home
I think if the senior does not have substantial resources...this may be the only advice that makes sense. But, it often does not when there is a fair amount of financial resource
Consider the situation with my parents.
Had Mom put Dad in a NH when the dementia started to drive her a bit nuts (1997) the result would have been..after 19 years (he died in 2016) she would be in poverty with nothing left for herself.
The cost of the Nh would have taken everything except the max. State Medicaid allows....$90,000 and her own social security. Everything else would have gone completely to 19 years of care. That would have meant that today Mom would not be able to afford in home caregivers. Would not have a driving service when she needs it. Would not be able to keep her home (cost of maintenance would have eaten away the remaining savings)
Yes, having a home aide a couple hours a week and dealing with the rest was a hardship for her. But, the hardship of losing all financial security would have beaten her down more over those years.
Mom feels strongly that she will not be in a NH..ever! She has the financial ability to live independent for the presumed remainder of her life. The long term home health policy she purchased in 2000 was expensive through the years...but it is paying off very well now.
I have worked her finances back and forth...she can keep in home health aides for 10 hours a day 7 days a week ...and live comfortably without worry for 10 years.....her life expectancy is 5 years.....hopefully she will outlive her "sell by" date.
The awful reality of the poverty of the remaining spouse has to always be considered. "Put him in a nursing home" may not be good advice when you take into consideration the living situation left behind.