Nurses and aides who call Mom "Hon."

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Okay here is the deal. Mom has dementia and is in the NH in another state. I call there about twice a week and go visit about once a month. Nearly every time I call there they go looking for her and hand the phone to her and say here is the phone, "Hon." I want them to call her by her name. When I visit it is the same thing. They call her Hon. I think this is disrespectful and talking down to her. I mentioned it to the Director of Nursing and she made light of it and thought it was no big deal. Is she right? Am I making too much of this? Am I too sensitive? She has a name why can't she be called by that name? Otherwise Mom seems to be treated with respect and it is a good NH form what I could see. I just don't like this Hon thing.What is your opinion of this?

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I've lived in New England all my life and by the way I address elderly and people I admire you'd think I was from the south..
I say "Miss" (insert name) when addressing someone I believe deserves respect..

It would not upset me if someone addressed my Mom with Hon, she is elderly and I think it's calming to her to hear it..
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I use many terms of endearment with my clients.... and after I have established a relationship with them, I will give them nicknames.... now, true, I do not call Lorene 'Cujo' to her face... now that is being disrespectful....!!!! I did call her Ladybug one evening and in no uncertain terms she let me know she was NOT a bug !!!! So usually I wait and see how they respond to certain terms.... I am from the South... so 'sweetie' is used a lot, from kids to elders..... I do not find it offensive, how does your mom feel about it??
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I believe some of the dislike of being called "Hon" or "Dear" could be coming from the workforce, back in the days when male bosses would call out to their secretaries, we were like the "office wife". When I was younger I found it offensive.

Now that I am pushing 70, I have a change of heart and don't mind being called "Hon" or "Dear" by my boss or store clerks, etc. :)
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I don't find it disrespectful at all, I find it loving and caring. If they called my mom Hon, I'd be fine with it. Eh, I guess we're all different. If that's the biggest problem you've got with the nursing home, I think you're a lucky woman (as is your mom).
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Well shoot me now, because at my age I can't remember everybody's name and end up using Honey, Sweetie, Darlin' instead of admitting my mind has gone blank. I don't want to patronize, I'm just hiding my dim wits. Every dog is "Baby". Please forgive me "you guys".
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Hon is common here in Minnesota. I don't find it disrespectful at all, no matter the amount of money you are spending. My mom is private pay and she loves her 'girls'. There are several and if she can't remember their name she calls them sweetheart because she is truly thankful for what they do.

Hon is not a term that offends me at all. Just don't call me 'late for dinner". :)
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When I was working I would go into the home of a dying patient sit down beside them and either hold a hand or put my arm around their shoulders and mostly used terms of endearment usually "sweatheart" I would use the given name when refering to the patient to the caregiver.
In this area in the hospital patients are asked on admision if they would be like to be called "Mrs" or by Veronica" I always use the latter. It seems more comforting but I would not be upset with any form of endearment. In the UK people you did not know would say "love' or "deary" and in Scotland "hun" I don't think it is an issue it is all in the attitude of the caretakers.
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I work in Baltimore and EVERYONE is Hon.. I think it is regional. I also think it must be a nightmare to try to remember everyones name with patient and CG turnover so high. If Mom dosent mind.. let it go. There are so many bigger things to deal with. If it bothers Mom. put her name on her nameplate outside the room as to what you want her called! When my MIL was in rehab her nameplate said E. lastname. I didn't want her called E!! She liked sweetie the best! When it was my Mom in rehab, they called her MS Pean.. she has always used a nickname.. but she didn;t mind Hun as long as her care was stellar!
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This a sore spot with me. I absolutely hate being called Hon or Hun or dear or sweetie or anything else other than my given name. I also don't like it when they call my mother hon. I have talked to the staff about this and when I am there they call her my her given name or Miss M---.
AARP magazine had an article a few years back about it. I am in the northwest united states. I have heard the excuse well I'm from the south and that's how we do it. I say so, you're here now and it is disrespectful. It indicates the level of professionalism that the aide has. If just 6 months ago she was a bar maid.... Don't get me wrong. I was an aide in my younger days. I treated all the residents with respect, even if they were hitting me. If the resident is paying $7000 or more per month and this is their home, they should not be called hon. They should be called my their given name.
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Doesn't sound like they are being disrespectful at all though they should honor your wishes.
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