Not sure what to do anymore?

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I'm not sure if we should be considered caregivers but my brother and I have our dad living with us but it has become increasingly difficult the past few months. Dad is close to 80 and has had COPD for sometime and now is on oxygen 24 hours a day. But he is become increasingly difficult to live around. He doesn't take care of himself and of course every little physical issue bothers him. He's not nasty or anything but its just becoming evident that we would like to help but there isn't much we can do to ease his issue. And I'm not sure what to do anymore. It is obvious that he at a point where he does want to die. And taking him to a therapist is out of the question...hes too hard-headed. But we aren't sure what we can do anymore

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to handle this?


Could he afford assisted living? Interactions with people near his age and with some impairments might perk him up, and it would free you from the responsibility of figuring out what to do. You could visit him often.
I have the same issue here at home with guess who?? Dad. I am now waiting to see if he is going to make a move to shave his face and try to get his bath this week. He is really starting to let himself go to pot. He doesn't care about anyone and sometimes he just cares about himself. He has had this annoying habit for years and it always got on my Moms nerves and now it always gets on my nerves. He ALWAYS seems to pick his time to go to the bathroom and diddle doddle around eating time every single time. Here I am waiting for him to get done which is forever and I have to wait until he is done to cook something or to finish cooking. There has been times when I would make breakfast and I got tired of waiting and so when he finally was done I warmed it up in the microwave. Who cares if it turns into rocks and rubber.. still eat it anyways. I mean if I wait for the rest of my life then I will be the one who starves to death,, not him. He has also picked up this annoying habit of walking away from his walker and grabbing everything around him to hold him up when he walks. I am just waiting for him to grab something that falls with him.. I will never say again. I told you so.. but I did. You will honestly get to the point where you will give less of a flip more and more when it comes to trying because I have been doing this long enough to stop trying.
Dad has made up his mind. He is going to live his life the way he wants to until he passes.
It sounds as though your dad is depressed. Has he been evaluated for depression?
His doctor has already indicated that he believes he has some degree of depression. As for assisted-living...that won't happen....not with him. And its not like he can't do anything, just not sure if his aliments are legit or is he being overly melodramatic about them. Granted, his COPD is a hindrance but I know he doesn't do anything to help alleviate it. He makes remarks like "You don't know how I feel" and he's right but I'm not sure what we can do for him. It just gets very frustrating at times and its better we are with him, because if he was in assisted-living he wouldn't be happy at all. At least he's with family, just can be difficult at times

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