It's not just the dementia I've got to deal with.
dad is a landlord too and I don't want to be one. His tenant in one of his rentals died there (I found him) and so no we have to find a new tenant. The rental is a 22 yr old mobile home that has never had the carpet changed. It needs to be cleaned up and has some other issues. Dad just wants to the "old cheapo" way he used to but I want to get a decent tenant in. One who hopefully will pay the rent on time, won't lose their job or take pictures with dad and saying that the property belongs to HIM and put it on facebook!!! (One previous tenant took pictures with dad and posted them on facebook saying "Our ranch, Smith Ranch") Of course dad was oblivious to what was going on. So...we just had a fight, I got mad at him because he doesn't want to do things the right way and I do and he says "IT'S MY DAMN HOUSE". Well, ya it is, but YOU cannot do anything without MY and my husband's help!!!!! I have watched for the last 18 years since mom died (almost 19 now) that property go from being a acre park like setting (we lived there for 8 years and helped care for it) to a piece of junk with dead yards, weeds everywhere and dad's crap sitting outside everywhere and yet he thinks he can get someone decent to live there and pay rent to do it.
So I yelled at him, got mad, packed up my husband and 17 yr old son who was there doing YARD WORK while we were going to put down new lino in the rental and wash down walls (just to get started) and LEFT to drive the 90 minutes home. of course, then the guilt sets in.....and I cry and cry. Dad is alone. My mother and two brothers are dead. My good for nothing niece who lives 30 minutes away does NOTHING for dad. She can't even bother to return his phone calls. I'm so mad and then I feel guilty. And I am tired. I'm 59 years old with Rheumatoid Arthritis. I can't do the work I used to (and believe me I have done the WORK for both my parents). How do I get over the guilt of leaving him. He won't hire anyone to help. It is so depressing to go there. The guy who died, well, his kids left half his crap there and now dad is going through all of it and dragging that crap into his house, the one that I try to keep nice and clean because it is where we stay when down there. Oh, and dad is alcoholic which just adds to the fun.