The Caregiver....How are YOU doing today?

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This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.

I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.

Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.

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I told sis that i don’t want to go to the flea market. It’s been raining since Thursday. Sis has been coughing very hard and long lately. My body is exhausted. I’m already stressing about my oncoming flying. This is... I’m very susceptible to getting sick... I’m sleeping with the light on. I Swear I’m hearing footsteps walking pass the closed door in the hallway. Twice I opened it to see who’s walking by. No one... I Forgot!! I’m such a scaredy-cat. I have my small flashlight beside me. I decided to sleep the other direction because there’s a huge glow-in-the-dark skeleton hanging on the wall above the bed. The skeleton is behind me. Good thing I suddenly decided to bring 2 eye masks. I never did before...

By the way, my new eye glasses cost $521.00. The lady looked up in surprise when I said that $521 is great. She replied that most people complain that it’s expensive. I said that my current eye glasses cost me $800. ... Ohhhh, I continued.... that’s $521 NOT including my eye exam, isn’t it? She said it’s only the glasses. Sigh... when I went up to pay for it... $732. I hope it comes in time before my trip. ..
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Glad, I recommend that you first try the real deal so that you have basis for comparison. I grew up thinking Taco Bell was real Mexican tacos. Then, in Hawaii, a person made her famous Mexican dish. It was baked in the oven with white sauce and chicken, etc... according to everyone, it was delicious. I, uhm.... didn’t like it at all. I couldn’t force myself to eat, as a guest, but my stomach was objecting literally. One more bite and all my dinner would’ve came rushing out. Taco Bell has ruined me towards real Mexican food. So, if you’re able to find a Filipino who can make the banana lumpia, that’ll be great... No dipping. It’s already sweetened.
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Mmmmm! Never have had lumpia now shishkbobs for breakfast. Are the bananas quartered or halved before they are fried in the lumpia paper? Pictures look wonderful. Are they served with caramel sauce for dipping? They do look good.
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Fried rice, over-medium egg and 2 sticks of delicious family-secret marinaded beef or chicken shish kabobs. The meat is soft and flavorful. Sometimes, we just buy the shish kabobs and walk around the flea market. And the Filipino banana lumpia. Yum!!!!
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Spam and eggs?
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Ahh, book, you need some excitement in your life and you know what they say about the early bird!😉 gets a flea market breakfast fresh off the grill. What do they cook on a grill for breakfast?
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Yep, we're in rainy season. The typhoon that passed us became one of the strongest typhoon to hit the Philippines. Crazy to watch YouTube videos of people in Hong Kong, China and P.I. doing things while the typhoon is happening. So busy filming the angry turbulent water surging towards them - not realizing that the glass windows is Not going to stop those waters.. until it's too late... on and on....

I was shocked this morning when I looked into the mirror. My eyes are sunken, with dark circles beneath it. I may not be waking up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom as often as before .. but I sure am not getting the deep sleep I Thought I was having.

Fave sis invited me to overnight at her place tomorrow night, Saturday. I usually turn her down because I tend to pack lots of bags. Just my fold-up wedge pillow is bigger than my medium rolling expandable carry-on. Knowing her though, she will be waking up at 5:00am to go to the flea market at 5:30. Maybe I will ask her if it's okay if I sleep in. But then, I will miss out eating flea market breakfast (yum!!! esp. when still fresh from the BBQ grill)... Hmmmm. Sleep or food?
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Wow! Your dog had a seizure & recovered. The cat had disappeared for a while. Turned up sitting in the chair next to you. Hmmmm.... While. You & your Dog were in distress the cat went off to quietly pray. (smile).
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I had a moment to review the earlier posts from 2011 and as with many of them it feels good to know Im not alone in this merry go round of emotions. I am going thru what everyone is sharing and had no idea people were going thru it like me. Seriee, spoke about the colostomy mess, OMG mom gets it smudged around the toilet seat and under too! It's probably from the nails and cleaning it. What makes things worse is the odor. This is when SHE wants to clean it but boy if I touch it and do it my way which is much quicker with no odor she goes nuts sometimes. I never know from one day to another if the beast is going to come out. She even told me I don't know how Im going to be from one day to the next. She hates the facility she's in so I don't believe the rage is do to dementia. She is on Rispideral but I don't think by itself is enough. It was at 2mg then reduced to 1. Her psych doctor does not want to increase it. One poster said their parent was on Seroquel. Mom was too but slept a lot. I am finding that the more their brains are stimulated by using a calendar to go over dates, exercise to stimulate circulation I see a change in mom. I'm exhausted from trying so hard to keep her going although she's a fighter. Getting her to shower on a regular basis is a head ache, her body alone can stink up the room. Then yesterday I asked her case manager if I could bring 2 slices of bread to mom in the room because she's tired
. Response,:"no. Not unless she comes downstairs". So mom responds to how she and I are treated. Is it Dementia or regular anger and stress?.
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I got a good surprise today - VA awarded partial disability to DH for illness due to Agent Orange. Parkinson's is a presumptive illness. The Disabled American Vets group was a big help, and the people at the VA handled the assessment appointments well. It's tragic how many serious illnesses are now attributed to Agent Orange. It's good that there's some small help for these vets.
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