No one calls or visits.
As the oldest of 5 girls, I am my mother's 24/7 caregiver. A job that, many here know, is not always easy. Mom is receiving in home physical therapy but has bee unable to stand with the walker for more than a minute right now. She is making progress and still has a sense of humor as she makes little jokes with the nurses and therapist who see her for roughly 30 minutes each visit a couple times a week. She took a little tumble about 6 weeks ago while walking from her bed to here chair and it left her scared to get out of bed. Therapy is progressing. Mom is 91. My question is this. My sisters all hate me. They are verbally abusive to me. To be honest I do not feel any love for or from any of them. I have always been the one to take care of mom. I am not complaining about caring for her. Mom depends on me and I am her comfort. What I have let my sisters know is that they all have excuses for not spending any time with mom. They spend no time with her and months go by without a call. They also say they do call but I don't answer the phone. A lie. They also say that I tell them not to come visit. A lie. Mom often asks "where is everybody" which breaks my heart. I always offer that everyone is working or busy with their grandkids etc. My niece, who was raised by my mother while her mother was sleeping all day, while being supported for years by our mother, is a compassionate soul. She helps a lot and I help her as much as I can. I really appreciate her. She sees how no one calls or visits and if not for her I would have no witness to the non caring ways of my sisters. It is not easy to have falsehoods levied at you while you are 24/7 caring for the mother they ignore. I do have POA and several months ago my mother signed her modest home over to me telling the lawyer, when asked, that she (me) can deal with them (my sisters). I have been taking care of putting house back in order. It was a mess. Dirty. Broken everything. I have POA for mom. Mom has the best of everything! I give her all the best care and am very attentive to her health and comfort. My sisters know I am upset with them. I sent a text telling them each what their constant excuses are. Some of their excuses are quite legitimate. I know people have their jobs and their lives to live but a couple hours a month for your own mother should not be something I need to be telling anyone they need to give her. I am 65. I am retired mostly due to asthma and chronic back issues. I am the one it makes most sense to look after mom. Four years ago I sat at dinner with my mom and promised her I would make sure she never goes in a nursing home. I told her I would look after her and I meant it then and now. I now have no interest in being around my sister (except one who is kind) because they are mentally abusive to me. I will no longer tolerate being screamed at and scolded by any of them. I seem to be their excuse for not visiting mom. I can certainly go have a visit with one of my multitude of dear friends while they visit mom. But no one calls or comes by. Nothing. One sister visits with me for 30 minutes and does not even hug or kiss or touch mom. She has not been here for four months except to drop of some pastries and run out as I was in the middle of washing and dressing mom for her ambulance ride to a doctor visit. No offer to help. Just dropped off the pastries and took off. She told everyone I pushed her out! No I was on a time constraint to have mom ready for a costly ambulance ride to and from a doctor visit! I would have loved an offer of help! Am I crazy. I just don't understand. I don't ask any of them for help. I gave up on that a couple years ago when I realized it would never happen. I am asking them for some show of care for mom. Doesn't mom deserve even an hour a month? Thank you for listening as I sit with my mom and a broken heart. Please don't suggest family counseling because it would subject me to their lies about me. I can't listen to it anymore.