The nightmare continues - he ran off my boyfriend.

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I haven't been posting because life as I knew it is totally and completely OVER. I have lost EVERY case I have taken since this whole Caregiver fiasco started due to a lack of rest and being forced to do everything ALONE!

I am aware that dementia causes delusions and outbursts, but I am convinced that Daddy is a miserable old grump that will torture us all until he transitions to his next life.

My BF has been AWESOME and such a tremendous help taking Daddy to the Adult Day facility that DADDY likes which happens to be 30 minutes from my home and at least an hour away from our offices in traffic. He would also grab him and drive him around on errands just to give me a break.

Well, he was using my Daddy's fishing truck (I am still baffled that a legally blind man insisted on having a vehicle... yet I digress), and if my Dad offered to pay for gas (using at least 2 full tanks a week carting him around), my BF took it.

Out of the blue, Daddy goes into this tantrum about my BF being too broke and treating him like a wallet blah,,,blah,,,blah. He even told him to stay away from me so that I can go back to dating the rich men (translation JERKS), that I deserve!!!

Needless to say, to keep peace, my BF has been incognito, and our limited time together has been cut back even more because we have to literally SNEAK to be together.

I am completely miserable and starting to hate my Daddy even more every day.

Sometimes I think it would be such a relief for us all if his transition to the next life would come soon....

How terrible is that?


It's not terrible. You are human and under a lot of stress. The time has come for your dad to live elsewhere. Assisted living or nursing home. You need to contact your area on aging and let them know that you need help placing your dad because you can't provide care anymore. No adult should have to sneak to see someone. You can do this
Tinyblu, good heavens what in the world was your Dad thinking... he's chased away his *wheels*.... how does Dad like staying at home now?

Whatever you do, do NOT drive your Dad except for doctor appointments, let him see how it feels not having someone as super great as your boyfriend to drive him places.

And hang onto that sweet boyfriend, not many would be that helpful.
Ask Daddy what gasoline costs. Bet he has no idea.
Good heavens. This man is living in your house? All I can think is "why?" Why are you allowing yourself to be treated this way?
If CG is impacting your work life as well as your personal life... RED FLAG here!! I assume you need your job too? Time for dad to get a grip and realize it's time to man up or go to a facility. Take care of yourself too! And hang on to the BF, he may be around alot longer than dad....
If you really care for your boyfriend, then I would say to get behind him. Let your father know that he ranks number 2 in your life, so if one of them has to go, it won't be your boyfriend. You're too old to have to slip around to see him. It probably is making you feel like a teenager in your parents' house again.
The good news is, we found a IL facility for Dad (although, he probably won't be able to stay INDEPENDENT for long due to his deteriorating condition). Dad complains about being alone ALL THE TIME, and sadly, I've been chauffering him around for the past couple of weeks.

It's my hope that he will get around the folks at the IL facility (although he says he doesn't want to be around a bunch of old people... too funny) and make some friends.

I can't do this anymore. I'm exhausted and totally burned out... in less than 8 weeks of this.

As for BF... we're taking a break (at my suggestion) because I feel like I'm burdening him with all of these changes. I cry every day. I bite his head off for no reason, and I feel like I've become this needy broad with abandonment issues and insecurities... not sexy. Sigh.... hoping this blows over.

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