I am new in this and a bit lost ....

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My mum fell and broke her hips 3 weeks back, has since been operated and now back home.

The doctor advise that she should not walk for 6 weeks and can only sit.

The problem now is, all she does is sleep.

I have tried once to help her sit (with me supporting her from the back) and she shout for help, asking me to stop it, enough is enough ... I ignored her plea and made her sit for maybe like 5 - 10 mins ....

Her appetite is up and down. I bought for her food she loves. She did tell me what she wanna eat and I bought it for her too. Somedays she will eat 5 - 6 spoon full of the food but days like today, she refused to eat ...... Not even wanna drink one drop of water.

I just checked her and her body is slightly warm. I am worry she has fever ...

Help ... what should I do ;-((


Marie: Do you live in the US? My suggestion would be to call her doctor and tell him everything you have stated here. The reason I asked if your were in the United States is because usually when an elderly person comes home after hip surgery, Home Health provides nurses and physical therapy people to help you the patient get better at home. It doesn't sound like you are getting that assistance.

How long has your mom been home? Sorry for all you are going through. Cattails
That is the problem, I don't live in the US :( Maybe I should start asking round if I can get any help here locally ......
I agree with the always good advice that Cattails provided. Do see if you can get some added help and contact the doctor or clinic. Let us know what you find out. Welcome to this site, glad you found your way here. Hope you and mom are doing better soon.
Yes Kimbee, need to ask from the hospital that she was in if there is any social service available. Today I have come to the end of my wits, I called my sis to ask if I should send my mum back to the hospital since she has not been eating for 2 days. My sis said yes, better send her back.

When I told my mum that I am sending her back, she cried and said she don't wanna go back, then I told her what else can I do, I am lost, everything I bring to you, you refuse to eat or drink, even water she refuse to drink !! So on the spot she asked for water and she can finish 80ml of it !! See ? She can still drink, she is just giving up and she thought she can just die by not eating .....
Hi Marie. I thought your mom was suffering from the surgery. When you told her that she was going back to the hospital and why, she finished the water - I laughed. But, just in case, please keep an eye on her. Check the surgical area and make sure it's kept clean and dry. If it starts turning red and hottish, or she's getting a fever, you may need to take her back to the hospital. When I had my 2 major surgeries (here in the U.S.), I was given these instructions. She might not tell you anything out of fear of going back to the hospital. So,you may need to keep an eye on her..Hope it all goes well with you.
Thanks for the wonderful advise bookworm .... bout her surgery wounds, my sister asked did the doctor took out the plaster when they discharged her and when I told my sister no (she herself is a nurse) - she was shock !! She said they should have taken out the plaster when they discharge her.

Now I am trying to call the hospital to ask when will be the date of her dressing and lucky me .... their line is out of order now !! What a day ..... I guess I need to go there myself to ask them !! Sigh ......
My mother did this exact thing after she broke her hip - refused to eat to the point of threatening to throw up even at the smell of food - with great theatrics. When she would eat, it'd be 5 bites, with a big show of suffering, which is her M.O. for everything anyway. It seemed like the one aspect of her life that Mom could control (and manipulate us with!). She made a big deal out of showing me how thin she was getting, and it pleased her so much. It took about 4 months for her to eat normally after losing about 25 pounds. I'm not saying that your mother is the drama queen, center of attention seeker that my mother is, but your story did ring very familiar with me. Bookworm, Kimbee and Cattails all give great advice. I wish I'd found this site 2 yrs ago when my mother fell. Good luck to you. I'll be keeping an eye on this thread to see how your story unfolds.
If you were in the U.S. it would have been suggested to get your mom into a rehabilitation facility if you couldn't get in home rehabilitation help. Also, the sooner your mom was up and moving around the better. The day after my mom had hip surgery (she has a rod down her femur), the physical therapist at the hospital came in and had her up. I hope you get the help you need.
Thanks Judy for sharing your story and thanks for wanting to know more about how mine will unfold, I do see a little bit of similarity between your mum and my mum when it comes to the eating part. My mum will also say she feels like throwing up if she eats, I told her it's just wind so don't worry but of course, whatever explaination from us don't work.

Anyway, there is another issue here, we all feel that my mum has given up on life. When ppl visits her she will say she is dying soon. That is why when I told her things like she has back sore and needs to turn or else worms will come out, she will simply answer .... it doesn't matter .....

So, I guess this is another issue ... when a patient gives up on their own life ... what can we do ... ;-((

Icross - yes, I know what you mean when you say it's better if she can get up sooner but now I guess with her age and before this she was already very frail, that is why things are a little bit challenging .....
rmarie: I think you should get your mom to the hospital. She may have an infection or other issues that need attention. You need to take some action. Cattails

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