I'm new here, and to the whole caregiving thing.... I feel so lost and alone!
Hi everyone! I don't even know how to start on here.... I just feel so alone and frustrated and am hoping I can find some inspiration on here. My husband and I (30 and 27 yrs.) took in my mother (only 46) in March. I have an almost 5 year old and am pregnant (high risk) with baby number 2. We never thought we would be dealing with care giving until much later in life. This time last year my mom was almost dead in the hospital with kidney failure, liver disease, and lupus with severe rheumatoid arthritis. She has had 2 known strokes, but I am thinking there have been more. She was living alone and drinking and whatnot for years, and it was really becoming unsafe.
We took her in knowing it would be rough. I didn't realize how hard it would be on my family. My mom is angry and bitter and mean to everyone. She is having really bad memory loss, and issues moving around. She mixes up words for things or names for people, and asks the same questions many times within a 5 minute conversation. The worst part is that she wont let me help her. She yells at me all the time, is so mean and sarcastic to my son, and is taking too much medication (sometimes knowingly, sometimes not). I don't feel like I can handle her much more. I have no help from my brother or sister, who in all fairness are younger than me. Mom wont let me regulate her meds, and I found out last night that it's because she stole some meds and doesn't want anyone finding out, she doesn't know I know. I believe that's also why she wont let me go with her into the dr.'s office. She only yells at me when my husband isn't around, otherwise she is just mean or stays in her room. Yesterday she went off on me so bad I told her I was sending her to assisted living because I can't handle it anymore. Of course, that just made things worse,but I am honestly considering it. I don't even know how how that works!
I know I probably sound whiny and terrible, I feel awful for being so mad and stressed out about it, I mean, she's my mom. But she is making things impossible around here. Even my son wont go near her anymore. What do I do? Can I make things better? Am I really doing everything I should? It's just so much! Thanks for listening (or reading). It helps a little just getting it out somewhere when you don't have any other outlet.