New, tired and stressed.
I am tired and stressed. Trying to keep a good perspective but right now I just want to cry. Here's what all I'm dealing with and I just want to vent mainly. Maybe if I get it out somehow I will feel better.
My dad is paranoid schizo, has COPD, on 14 pills daily, 3 inhalers, and a nebulizer twice daily. I go to his house weekly, dose out all his meds, pick up his refills, pay all his bills, take him to his dr appts, grocery stops (my younger brother does this mostly once every other week...that's all he does though), and clean about once a month. He's good on his meds but still, I'm the sole caregiver really. Been doing that for 1-1/2 years now.
My mom (divorced from my dad and remarried) was diagnosed with cancer last March, went through chemo and radiation. Cancer is gone but she's worse now than during treatments. She's severely depressed, not eating, losing weight (down to 113 from 160 at diagnoses). She won't take her appetite stimulant or some of her other meds as directed. She takes minute amounts of Xanax for panic attacks. Now the dr is saying feeding tube. Today they made the appointment for the dr that does feeding tubes. It's next week. Did she tell me when I talked to her? Nope. I found the note about it while I was there cleaning. So now I have to talk to my boss tomorrow about taking off so I can take her to the dr. (The dr is an hour away) She refuses to listen and is severely depressed. She has a counseling appt in 2 weeks and is on the cancellation waiting list. She is on antidepressants but won't increase them like the mental clinic nurse practitioner told her to.
My stepdad is in bad health as well. He gets frustrated because she won't eat. He can't do much so I am now going to her house as well on a weekly basis.
In the middle of all this, I work 3 part time jobs, have a husband and home to take care of. I'm scheduled for a hysterectomy in early May. So I'm hoping and praying that my 2 weeks off from surgery will actually get to be restful but I'm guessing not if they actually put a feeding tube in my mom.
I'm just really over all this, doing it all by myself and want to run away.