Hello everyone, new poster here.

Started by

Was advised this was a great place for support and courage to face another day. Hoping to get to know some of you.

My Dad passed away a couple of months ago. I am an only child. My Mother has moderate dementia and 2 weeks ago she was admitted to the hospital with an urinary tract infection, anemia and AFIB.....while in the hospital, she had a stroke. She went from walking with a walker, going to the bathroom, feeding herself to totally bedridden, wearing diapers, needing me to feed her (foods like baby food) and talks gibberish. Every once in a while she can speak words you understand....and she has been seeing people (like my Dad, her Mother, my other grandmother, all passed) across the river. She was wanting to go across the river to them.

I am pretty much the lone caregiver 24/7 at her home. My husband comes up at night after work and helps me do anything I need done. I have a sitter that comes....but is unable to change diapers, so I can't go far from home.

Hospice was called in when they released her from the hospital.

I feel so alone, so tired and have pity parties a lot here lately. I cry sometimes until no tears will come. I didn't get to grieve for my Dad because I immediately had to begin taking care of Mom full time.

I'm doing the best I can & I know the Lord has been carrying me. Hospice advise me to join this board as you offer a lot of support.

Thanks for hearing me out.


Hi Calliegirl - Welcome to AC!! I'm so sorry you're going through such a difficult time. Yes you will find a wealth of support and understanding here. We all know what you're going through...feeling alone, the pity parties, the stress, and the tears - we've all been there. You are not alone!!!! Come back often...share how you're doing, vent if you need to, or just look through the different threads and read what others are saying. You're coping with a lot at once, and so soon after losing your dad. Sending ((hugs))
Welcome,yaya said it all..... this is the place to be, we all understand, we've all been there, are there now, or will be there soon..... I am sorry you are having no time to grieve your dad...it happens a lot on here.... and I completely understand how that feels..... you are not alone....

Read the different threads.... sometimes we even laugh..... out loud !!! Many many wonderful supportive people on this site..... keep us updated on your situation.... sending love, hugs, angels and chocolate... !!!!
Oh, Callie, how very sad for you! Read especially the "what's for dinner "thread, lots of laughing there. Take time for yourself when the sitter is there , to meditate, read, etc, do for yourself! You deserve some time to grieve. Come back now, y' hear?
Hi Calliegirl....bless your heart....I have pretty much given up Facebook to be here now...the folks here understand...I come here a good bit and have found a lot of comfort ..sometimes in just being able to "think outloud". I am so sorry for all the hardships you are going through...I know this is very hard time in your life.

My Mom went very rapidly from being able to sit up in her chair all day and laughing and talking to being totally bedridden right before Christmas when a minor ankle fracture turned into a major deal as the anesthesia reacted badly with her dementia / alzheimer's issues...and I understand how hard it is to care 24/7 for someone totally bedridden...my Mom also "eats" only the nutritional supplements now. she used to enjoy applesauce, puddings, etc. but now she just will not eat anything with a spoon or fork, just the drink supplements. I bought one of the single serve blenders and put the pudding and applesauce and such in the nutritional drinks and turn them into interesting shakes for her...I don't give her anything I am not willing to try myself so I am a guinea pig these days but so far have created some pretty interesting shakes for her. I also bought all kinds of flavorings, malt powders, and milk flavorings like you use to get children to drink their milk....bumps up the flavor and nutrition with the yogurt, fruits, etc....

anyway, you are not alone here friend. someone is on here most of the time. I am sorry for all of your hardships but you are welcome here and know that we understand.
Thank you all for making me feel welcomed. I plan to do a lot of reading here and I will be posting at times. I will go read the 'what's for dinner' thread as I need the laughs.
I feel my life has become a series of changing diapers, feedings, bathing and entertaining. It is as though I gave birth at retirement age :) I don't begrudge doing this for my Mom as she did the same for me. I get down at times and I get stressed and I'm trying to stay positive. I hate that I can no longer talk with Mom because her speech is garbled.....but she still has that beautiful smile and laugh. It would melt anyone's heart as it has the people from hospice.
Yup, sure sounds familiar. I went through this too. Since last October, I think I've really been stretched, and I think I'm a much stronger person today. I try really hard to remember that I'm going to look back on this as very, very, fond, memories with my Mom.
Hello Callie, since I joined AC I found out how many people go through the same my mom and I went through with my grandmother and still is like that, you will find a lot of stories that will make you say: “what?! That’s exactly how my life is!”. And I also like the funny threads specially the “Funny moment with elder parent” .
I am an only child and moved in with Mom 4 years ago. I knew I needed to learn caring for the home and that she would need me. She is now 92. Thank God I found you all. She became dependent on a walker 2 wks ago. I am doing everything she had always done. I know this once vibrant woman is distressed by her immobility. Of course, she is rude with me and kind to everyone else. My issue just now occurred and how silly to what I read here. She would never use the dishwasher and because I just did...she lost it. I am doing very well with her, I thought, but I can see very hurtful things coming our way. And yes, I will read the other forums.

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