I feel so bad because mom is so young and was just diagnosed with dementia.

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Hello, I am new to the group but am so excited to be part of it. Well my situation is I am 45, married with sons 16 and 8 yrs old. My mom is 69 and was recently diagnosed with dimentia, she was discharged from hosp 10/12 and came to live with us. It has been such an adjustment. We are trying to sell her mobile home. I feel so bad because she is so young, her boyfriend hasn't bothered to call.


You have every reason to feel so bad. This is a very sad situation -- dementia always is, and early onset seems especially cruel. It is natural for you to grieve the losses you'll experience along the way.

I highly recommend a book called "Loving Someone Who Has Dementia," by Pauline Boss.
You can get financial aide to care for her. Be sure to get hooked up with people in your area who know more. It can get worse gradually or quickly. My mother held a full time job as a waitress, then retired at age 65. Now at 78 she'll boil water on the stove with mail right next to it, and deny doing it to everyone but the person who caught her. Her way of coping is as she said to my hubby: "You can bluff people". She's the cutest little Irish woman, who can get away with it yet to have her live with me would drive me nuts. Thank God my Dad at 82 is aware now and cooked last night. I agree with jeannegibbs. It's good to read up on it, get local support from the aging community, as you have 2 children to raise, and this will be difficult for all to understand, and learning how to deal with it will be easier than arguing with the person with dementia.
just remember as the demetia get worse, it is not their fault, they have no control over it, I have been taking care of my mom who lives with me who was diagnosed with dementia at age 69 now 75, be patient and kind, never argue, if mom says the sky is purple, I would say yes isn't that pretty, will keep you in my prayers, I know how hard it is and will get, hang in there
Actually the sky could be purple with patients of Dementia. One of the latter stages affects their vision, color and contrast. But before that, memory loss can now make the color vocabulary difficult to find or correlate correctly. So I agree with ejbunicorn, try and keep it sweet with afirming words of response. Blessings and prayers go out to you (all).
My heart is with you. My wife was diagnosed with dementia at age 68 and died at 80 in an assisted living home. Her decline was steady but never confrontive or hostile. I urge you to consult a professional both for your own emotional support and to be able to anticipate what may lie ahead for you and your family.
dear "feel so bad" i totally understand where you are coming from. your kids must be having a difficult time with it too as taking care of mom while taking care of your immediate family is so stressful. i hope your wife and kids are helpful, patient and very understanding. my mother moved in two months ago diagnosed with moderate dementia then after testing found out it is "alzheimer's" probably from the series of mini strokes she had. there are so many books that can help you understand her, what she is going thru and what you will be handling in the weeks, months and years to come. my heart and prayers go out to you and your family.

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