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I guess I allowed the constant negativity on this site to snap my head last night. A weak moment on my part . caring for half crazy elders is enough to kill a person , then add in the family dysfunction and its no wonder that most people come here to vent . i empathize with everyone . i only suggest that after a good vent try to find at least a scrap of humor in the situation . i personally can only take so much negativity . im not apologising to anyone . im saying you can cross a line between sharing your pain with others and just simply abusing them with your unchecked despair . i normally only comment if i can be helpful , detract from someones pain , or find some kind of wry humor to lighten their load .
i enjoy this site for the intellectual banter , shared wisdom and humor wherever we can find it . i have no plans of leaving the group .

my 90 yr old aunt whos well aware that she hasnt long to live can still shake her bony little fist at me and find something amusing to say every day of her life . maybe we could all learn from that ..
i think ill go see her , we calm each other ..


You call em like you see em Bob. Your honesty is one of the many things you are respected for on this site.
Well, actually, I'm glad someone expressed this as I was thinking it myself the other day. What's especially discouraging are that sometimes the same negative people post over and over and over, ad infinitum.

Or the trolls do this - that's another issue entirely.

I certainly get negative and frustrated myself. I understand that. What I don't understand (or perhaps I really do) is why no effort is made to try to change attitudes.

The people we care for aren't likely to change, only we can change our attitudes in dealing with the complexities and challenges. But I think some people just like to wallow in misery. There I've said it. Now I'm going to put cyberbarriers for all the stones that likely will be thrown at me.
Thank goodness it's only her fist. My FIL used his cane like a machete.
I have been on this site many years... have watched it grow and change..... guess I have just learned to not read chronic complainers..... I get it.... and we do need to come here and give it an out loud rant at times.... maybe I just look at the 'bigger picture'. Many people, from many places... some that are totally isolated and this is their only outlet.... I get it...

I will tend to read those that inject humor tho.....I see things pretty twisted at times.... and have a laugh all by myself...sometimes I post it...if it makes someone else laugh, good....

I feel that sometimes, our own control issues come out when we are trying to 'edit' someone.... who cares !!!! let 'em rant.... no one HAS to read anything here....Just as some don't read me, I don't read some...... it's an open forum....

And Cap, anytime you have 'put it out there', it was always your own truth.... just saying things in your own way that many are thinking and won't say...

So with all this being said.... I read who and when I want... for the reasons that apply for me at the time..... but there are some that I follow, simply because of the honesty..... life ain't fair...... so what..... and usually if someone hurts my feelings( which doesn't happen here, pissed off maybe, but not hurt) they are just telling me their truth... I take what I need and leave the rest.
Pam, the image of your FIL terrorizing people with his cane is frightening yet at the same time comical, and I mean that kindly.

It's amazing what can be done with assistive devices. I think maybe I'll get one of those grabber things and pinch the politicians when they start coming around in October...or maybe before. They literally drive me mad!
When I was newer on here, and in need of advice, there was one poster I thought really did not like me for some reason. I;m not stupid, I'm in medicine for Petes sake.. but they made me feel stupid . I was just new at this road. I hope I never make anyone feel bad.. I know I posted stuff that had been asked before a million times.. but for me it was NEW and Scarey. I am aware I may not always post what someone wants to hear.. so if that is the case I hope they just disregard it. It is just MY experience, and I learned alot from hearing other's stories. I do really feel for those who have no where else to vent.
I find I have different levels of tolerance for the sadness and pain that can be expressed in some posts. Some days I read one and go, "Nope, nope, nope" and leave the site until I'm in a better mood. Some people get themselves in such fixes that it's just beyond my level of experience or understanding.

And some people do like to wallow in their misery and post the same tired rants over and over. The first few times, I'd try to offer suggestions until I learned who they are. Now I just avoid their posts. There are always new people who will listen and offer advice (that will be ignored in kind, LOL). Humans are a funny bunch.
You people are some of my dearest friends and the support I received today touched my heart deeply. No matter where you go, on line or out in the real world there will always be someone to try and bring you down. I post honestly, try hard to avoid the negativity,( not always successful at that) but will NEVER allow my self to be abused by anyone. Some tough old broad reminds me of that often.
I know when my mother first came to live with me I came on this site many times to vent, I was very angry.This site has been very helpful to me,heck this is the site where I learned to put kitty litter in her beside commode which works great by the way. Instead of screaming at her I come on here and "scream".There will be good days and bad but I have always found this site to be generally very supportive and informative.
A friend of mine once said, "It's just a bothery ole message board." It wasn't about here, but it still applies.

Keep the conversation going (or start a new one)

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