Negativity.

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im understanding whats so maddening about elder care, dementia or otherwise. its the steady battle with the elders negativity. the carer has a battle to fight but every word or action that we take is met with a neverending stream of negativity. wait it gets worse. your ability to reason has been c**k blocked too. maybe the elder is right, were screwed. lol
my fingers have permanently seized in the strangulation mode..

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My heart goes out to caregivers who have to constantly deal with negativity. Wow! What an overwhelming burden. If this relative were healthy you would probably minimize contact, keep phone calls short, etc. And now you have to deal with this repeatedly and constantly.

My husband, after a period of depression when he was first diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia, basically retained his sweet, pleasant personality. He'd get confused. It took a long time for him to accept his limitations gracefully. I'm not saying the journey was completely calm and unemotional. But he simply was not negative. LOL ... you know they say persons with dementia cannot learn new things? I guess he just never knew how to be negative and it was too late to learn!

My mother, 92 with dementia and severe arthritis, was never a negative person and she isn't now, either. She is in pain a lot, she is constantly cold, and she has lost all sense of time. So she has become more "demanding" than she ever was. Again, caring for her is not a stroll in the park, but at least it doesn't include listening constantly to a stream of negativity.

Hugs to all of you who face this extremely burdensome challenge!
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My alcoholic mother with dementia is so negative that I'm extremely angry and ready to completely minimize my contact with her, though one side of me thinks good caregiving on my part would involve trying to help her do things that might lift her mood. She lives in independent living in a senior home and is a mess. Negative, refusing to eat except junk food, drinking vodka and throwing up in her apartment, wearing dirty clothes, refusing to engage with others who reach out to her, etc. I'm thinking of minimizing my contact with her to once a week, when I do her meds. Maybe she really belongs in assisted living where they can ride herd on her better. I am thankful every day that she has the resources to keep her living elsewhere and not in my home.
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